Peon, about new manager: We can be flexible and try new things and watch it blow up in her face.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Peon, about new manager: We can be flexible and try new things and watch it blow up in her face.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Woman #1: Did you see the Avon book in accounting?
Woman #2: No, I haven’t.
Woman #1: Well, it’s all in Mexican. Only a little bit on the back was in English… Instead of having the whole thing in Mexican, they should’ve just done it half and half.
260 West Seeboth Street
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Disgruntled employee: I like my rage. I hold it close, like a really scratchy blanket. Or a blowfish.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Lady coworker #1 standing in hospital cafeteria line: Wow. Cod again? Why can’t they have a bigger variety of seafood?
Lady coworker #2: It would be great if they would serve something besides fish, like shrimp or crab.
Lady coworker #1: Shellfish is always best when it’s fresh, though. Whenever I go to the East Coast I always come back with crabs.
2801 W Oklahoma Avenue
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Guy exiting bathroom: I hate it when I go to the bathroom and the back of my pants gets wet!
Cottage Grove, Wisconsin
Overheard by: My Pants are Dry
Coworker to boss: I’m starting to feel like not being nice and not being so understanding to Jennifer*. You’ll either have to give me a pep talk about politeness in the workplace, or give me permission to be a bitch.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Overheard by: End of the Rope
Coworker #1: Well one time, I was eating here, and I found a piece of metal in my mouth! You know, a long thin piece. But bunched up. I chewed on it and it like exploded in my mouth. In my mouth! Can you believe it? It was all twisted or something. Coiled. Oh yeah. It was a spring! A spring! Anyway, I chewed on it and it like boinged in my mouth. Wait, wait, wait. Can you believe it? Boing, boing, boing! So I spit it out and look at it and think, ‘What the hell is this and what is it doing in my food?’ But really, can you believe it? Boinging all over the place!
Coworker #2: Ok. Enough already. You’re making me sick. It’s like having lunch with Roseanne Roseannadanna. Next you’ll be telling me about the time you found a toenail in your cheeseburger.
Coworker #1: Oh yeah. Wouldn’t that be great? Lunch with Roseanne. But she’s dead, you know. Cancer.
Coworker #2: Gilda Radner died of cancer.
Coworker #1: Who? Why are you always changing the subject?
Coworker #2: I’m eating at my desk.
1500 University Avenue
Madison University Hospital & Clinics Cafeteria
Madison, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Just lost my appetite
Male co-worker: I don’t understand why taking your baby on your lap in an airplane is such a bad idea.
Female co-worker: Dude, what if you crash? That can’t be safe.
Male co-worker: You’re right, I guess. Babies probably don’t make great flotation devices.
590 North Shore Drive
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Ashley
Boss: When will you be done with these?
Jackass: I dunno, all I have left is to finish.
Hudson, Wisconsin
Supervisor: Can you print me out a label that says “If it’s Tuesday, oil me”?
545 North 15th Street
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Overheard by: KJean
