Specialist: He thought it was “unfair” that we’d charge him a fee for cashing out his certificate before the maturity date.
Boss: He’s lucky he was talking to you. I’d have told him, “I had to put my cat to sleep last night; that’s unfair.”

2929 North Mayfair Road
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Co-worker on phone: Uh yes, this is [Brett Myers} with the Mortgage Company. It’s Wednesday, 10:30 AM…I’m sorry! It’s just that…well, you sounded like a voicemail voice.

1350 Deming Way
Middleton, Wisconsin

Sales rep, about boss: There's a woman who knows her sausages!

Madison, Wisconsin

CEO: We don’t want to get sued because someone has a ridiculously large head.

Wausau, Wisconsin

Tech: Are you all set on the pdf server now?
Client: Yes, I think so. Is it supposed to be so fugging slow uploading pdfs onto the ftp site?
Tech: Yup! That’s a feature.
Client: Neat. Thanks.

111 South 1st Avenue
Wausau, Wisconsin

Assistant: Are you stealing things already?
Marketing rep: Are you saying that because I’m black?

9401 West Brown Deer Road
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Overheard by: T

Cube rat on cell: So, I’m really annoyed because TJ* keeps ordering movies on the TV, and I told him he’s going to have to pay for them… I just don’t trust him… I know he’s my boyfriend! You can block someone from doing that? Cool! … I know, and he kept asking me whether I minded because he was ordering lots of movies, or if I minded that some of them were porn…

College admissions office

Manager #1, waiting for elevator: He said it was intermittent.
Manager #2: He said it was what?
Manager #1: You know, like in her mittens.
Manager #2: Oh, in her mittens.
Manager #1: Yeah, mittens. (makes lobster claw motions with hand)
Manager #2: I never understand a word that comes out of his mouth.

Middleton, Wisconsin

Overheard by: The Receptionist

Co-worker #1: So do they have offices in the Northern part of Texas?
Co-worker #2: Yeah, like up in that chimney portion of the state.
Co-worker #1: Oh. I’ll show you a fire.
Co-worker #2: What?

611 North Broadway
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Boss lady: I think Rick* was talking to people in our aisle for a record 52 minutes. He’s finally gone.
Assistant: Don’t worry. He’ll be back. Like herpes and the Terminator.

Wausau, Wisconsin