Meeting chairperson: Alright, that’s about all for this Monday’s meeting. Now, is anyone going to be away on vacation at all this week?
Suit #1: I’ll be taking next Monday off. We’re heading up to the cottage for the weekend.
Suit #2: Umm, I will be sick on Friday so I won’t be in.
Meadowvale Business Park
Mississauga, Ontario
Canadia
Engineer on phone: Hi, this is Jim from [Company A]. Oh, wait, that’s you. Shit.
Paterson, New Jersey
Employee #1, looking at t-shirt designed by Daisy Fuentes with a spanish word printed on it: God, when did Daisy Fuentes become Spanish?
Employee #2: Hasn't she always been Spanish?
Employee #1: No! She thinks she's so cool she can just decide to be Spanish one day.
Employee #2: But her last name sounds Spanish.
Employee #1, pronouncing it wrong: Fuentes? Whatever, that isn't Spanish. She's so fake. God, I hate people that are fake.
Kohl's Department Store
Minnesota
Overheard by: Expect Great Things
Admin: We’re going to miss you around here.
Employee: Well, I’d like to say that I’ll miss being around here, but that would be untrue, so I’m not going to say it.
6111 Oak Tree Boulevard
Independence, Ohio
Worker #1: I make less than everyone. People on unemployment make less than me.
Worker #2: Is that true?
Worker #1: No.
6727 Odessa Avenue
Van Nuys, California
Son, pointing to a tip can: Mom, what's that?
Mom: That's where they put all the naughty kids that are bothering the parents.
Son: No they don't!
Mom: It's true, you can ask the lady.
Grocery bagger: Yup, your mom's right.
Kailua, Hawaii
Overheard by: Worker #43
Office girl: My mom said she almost wrecked her car the other day because she was watching Elvis pick up trash on the side of the road. My mom said he was picking up trash in his jumpsuit, right there on the side of the road.
Office guy: Elvis was doing a little community service, was he?
Charlotte, North Carolina
Assistant: Did you know that dogs get breast cancer?
Supervisor: What?
Assistant: I used to work at a vet office, and they would bring in dogs with breast cancer!
Supervisor, after googling it: Yeah, I guess they do!
Assistant: Oh, really?! I made that up!
Supervisor: I'm done with you.
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Digitdy
Boss to notoriously unreliable person: Jane, are you writing this down?
Jane: Yes, I am writing this down… in my mind.
Seward, Nebraska
