University maintenance worker, over walkie-talkie: I was just talking with Lisa, and she says she has like a weird smell in her room. So I was gonna ask if you could come over here and help me smell it.


Overheard by: It takes two people?

Son, pointing to a tip can: Mom, what's that?
Mom: That's where they put all the naughty kids that are bothering the parents.
Son: No they don't!
Mom: It's true, you can ask the lady.
Grocery bagger: Yup, your mom's right.

Kailua, Hawaii

Overheard by: Worker #43

Woman in line at Starbucks, on cell: They stripped me, in the office, to my bra and underwear! (phone beeps) Just a minute. (switches to waiting call) Yeah? Yeah, I can get you an oatmeal.

Honolulu, Hawaii

Overheard by: Jade Buddha

Coworker #1: Do you have any happy memories from your childhood?
Coworker #2: Naked babysitters.

Honolulu, Hawaii

Male naval officer (over speakerphone): Do you need me to come over there?
Male naval office #2 (two cubicles down): No, sir, I just got it up. Everything's fine.
Male naval officer (over speakerphone): Well, let me know if you need help and I'll send someone over.
Male naval office #2 (two cubicles down): Roger that, sir.

Pacific Fleet Headquarters
Pearl Harbor, Hawaii

Overheard by: Just a lowly contractor

Office girl leaving restroom: That's it! I'm done with all my girl parts!


Office Mormon to guy drinking beer at dinner: Dude, you're so drunk.
Drinker: I don't tell you what it's like to be Mormon, so you don't tell me what it's like to be drunk.

Honolulu, Hawaii

Insurance department boss: A death claim is better than a long-term injury.

Merchant Street
Honolulu, Hawaii

Customer: How powerful is that pressure washer?
Salesman: I’m not sure… Uh… It’s powerful enough to take your toes off…

Honolulu, Hawaii

Architect on phone: Alright, you’re not understanding me. [pause] Okay, what if I keep this one, but eat the other one… Look, I just need to know can I get any diseases or bacteria from these kittens or what?

2020 South King Street
Honolulu, Hawaii

Overheard by: crackin up