Toy store clerk #1: Hey, Jessie*, do we still have any of those Communist uniforms?
Toy store clerk #2: I don’t think so.
Toy store clerk #1: What about the Communist soldier figurines?
Toy store clerk #2: Hm… I don’t think so.
Toy store clerk #1: Do we have anything Communist-related?
Toy store clerk #2: I think we still have the stick-on Communist facial hair…
29th Street and Guadalupe Street
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: amused socialist
Co-worker: Did you know every conversation we have in here, we aren’t supposed to have?
Sullivan Barracks
Mannheim, Germany
Officer: So apparently the greeting of the day is “Rock that ass”.
3rd Infantry Division Headquarters
Baghdad, Iraq
Co-worker: I don’t really pay that much attention to politics. I mean, I don’t even know the difference between a Republican and a Dominican.
Sullivan Barracks
Mannheim, Germany
Soldier #1: Sir, are you going to do anything while on leave?
Lieutenant, sitting in the one shady spot in the blazing heat: Yeah, I think me and my cousin are going to get some fuckin beers, get all smashed, go out and get tattoos. It's gonna be cool shit. Grab some brews, bitches…way cool.
Soldier #2, walking up: Yeah? Are you going to get a tattoo of a penis on your forehead, dickhead?
(shocked silence)
Lieutenant (thoughtful): Naw…fuck that.
Iraq
Overheard by: TK- soldier#3 almost peed stopping from laughing
Man: *Erica, the phone’s for you.
Old coworker: What?
Man: It’s for *Erica!
Old man: Oh, ok. [picks up the phone] Hello?… Oh, hold on. [puts phone down] *Erica, the phone’s for you!
Washington Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Boss: Who made the coffee this morning?
Underling, defensively: Why?
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Seaman, next to air force guys: I love Dick's! (pause) The restaurant, that is.
Airman: We always knew there was something about you seamen.
San Antonio, Texas
Overheard by: I like them too.
Old drone: I'm not computer suave-y like you all…
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Coworker #1: How was The Simpsons Movie?
Coworker #2: Pretty good.
Coworker #1: It’s not the cartoon version, is it?
Coworker #2: Uhh… Yeah.
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
