The Military

Trainer: Doing a job correctly is usually better than doing it wrong.
Trainee: Are you fucking serious, bro?

Gunter Air Force Base
Montgomery, Alabama

Overheard by: At least someone realizes it too

Huggy Bear: Get Over Here, Baby!

Tall, muscled naval officer: Is there a prostitute service where you can just buy a hug?

Tucson, Arizona

Overheard by: Kaiti

Boss, explaining how to prepare contract documents: We do this so that we’re not running around, trying to grab our asses in the middle of the night. That’s not what we want to do!

Navy Yard
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Matt

Toy store clerk #1: Hey, Jessie*, do we still have any of those Communist uniforms?
Toy store clerk #2: I don’t think so.
Toy store clerk #1: What about the Communist soldier figurines?
Toy store clerk #2: Hm… I don’t think so.
Toy store clerk #1: Do we have anything Communist-related?
Toy store clerk #2: I think we still have the stick-on Communist facial hair…

29th Street and Guadalupe Street
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: amused socialist

Co-worker: Did you know every conversation we have in here, we aren’t supposed to have?

Sullivan Barracks
Mannheim, Germany

Officer: So apparently the greeting of the day is “Rock that ass”.

3rd Infantry Division Headquarters
Baghdad, Iraq