Office worker on speakerphone: Hello.
Creepy customer: I was just sitting here eating some creamed corn and thinking about you so I thought that I would give you a call.
Office worker: Please hold and I will transfer you to my supervisor.

1st Avenue
Birmingham, Alabama

Office grunt: Now, you know they make them tuxedos with the camouflage vests… Them thangs is sharp!

Anniston, Alabama

Receptionist: I have great news!
Nurse: What?
Receptionist: I got accepted into grad school! But I’m scared.
Nurse: Why?
Receptionist: I haven’t been in school in a long time.
Nurse: You’ll be fine — it’s like falling off a duck’s back.

1917 20th Street South
Birmingham, Alabama

Overheard by: Eavesdropping grad student

Sales #1: Have you called any previous customers yet?
Sales #2: I’ve called customers till I’m blue in the ass.

973 Opelika Road
Auburn, Alabama

Overheard by: Rob Byrd

Employee to another, arranging pretzels on display: You know, you're supposed to hang these straight, but if you hang them crooked they are more tantalizing….tantalizing like crack.

Birmingham, Alabama

CSR: Thanks for calling Widgets Inc.* How may I help you?
Client on phone: Yeah, I was just talking to Roger* and we lost connection. Maybe you can finish walking me through whatever.
CSR: Sir, we do not have a Roger. You were just talking to me. We didn’t lose connection. You hung up on me and I was walking you through understanding that our software does not do "whatever."

Eighth Floor, Galleria
Hoover, Alabama

Security Guard: So I told her, “I’m ’bout to go over there & milk that goat. The baby’s gotta have sum’inta eat.”

9800 Kellner Road SW
Huntsville, Alabama

Gentleman in office: Hand jobs are nothing new. They’ve been around for centuries. You could just sit around and wonder how many hand jobs Anne Boleyn performed.

Birmingham, Alabama

Overheard by: tacomeat

Worker bee: So are you making a spectacle of yourself?
IT guy: It's going to be a picnic, a zoo, and a circus all in one.

Birmingham, Alabama

Overheard by: chaosd

Female employee: At first I thought she was bullshitting me to get out of going to daycare.

Birmingham, Alabama

Overheard by: Joy