Alabama

Coworker #1: I don’t know, he was weird. And plus, I’ve never dated a guy from Indiana…
Coworker #2: Wait… He was Indian?

Birmingham, Alabama

Overheard by: Cubica

Teacher #1: I really need a video to show my kids after they finish their final. Do you have one I could borrow?
Teacher #2: Oh? Well, let’s see… What were you thinking about?
Teacher #1: Have anything with angsty kids? Oooh, especially angsty black kids? They love those.

Alabama

Overheard by: Saving the drama for my momma

Employee #1: Stop flinging eyedrops on me!
Employee #2: I am trying to exorcise the demons in you.

Bldg 5302 Sparkman Circle
Redstone Arsenal, Alabama

IT: My vibrator doesn’t work; I think it’s worn out…On my phone! On my phone! The vibrate function on my phone doesn’t work! Oh, god.

140 Research Boulevard
Madison, Alabama

Overheard by: map ref 41n 93w

Office worker on speakerphone: Hello.
Creepy customer: I was just sitting here eating some creamed corn and thinking about you so I thought that I would give you a call.
Office worker: Please hold and I will transfer you to my supervisor.

1st Avenue
Birmingham, Alabama

Office grunt: Now, you know they make them tuxedos with the camouflage vests… Them thangs is sharp!

Anniston, Alabama

Receptionist: I have great news!
Nurse: What?
Receptionist: I got accepted into grad school! But I’m scared.
Nurse: Why?
Receptionist: I haven’t been in school in a long time.
Nurse: You’ll be fine — it’s like falling off a duck’s back.

1917 20th Street South
Birmingham, Alabama

Overheard by: Eavesdropping grad student

Sales #1: Have you called any previous customers yet?
Sales #2: I’ve called customers till I’m blue in the ass.

973 Opelika Road
Auburn, Alabama

Overheard by: Rob Byrd

Employee to another, arranging pretzels on display: You know, you're supposed to hang these straight, but if you hang them crooked they are more tantalizing….tantalizing like crack.

Birmingham, Alabama

CSR: Thanks for calling Widgets Inc.* How may I help you?
Client on phone: Yeah, I was just talking to Roger* and we lost connection. Maybe you can finish walking me through whatever.
CSR: Sir, we do not have a Roger. You were just talking to me. We didn’t lose connection. You hung up on me and I was walking you through understanding that our software does not do "whatever."

Eighth Floor, Galleria
Hoover, Alabama