Customer Support

CSR: Can you give me your daughter’s measurements?

714 NE Hancock Street
Portland, Oregon

Office worker on speakerphone: Hello.
Creepy customer: I was just sitting here eating some creamed corn and thinking about you so I thought that I would give you a call.
Office worker: Please hold and I will transfer you to my supervisor.

1st Avenue
Birmingham, Alabama

Caller: I can’t seem to log into my account.
CS rep: Have you entered your username and password into the login fields?
Caller: Yes, I have.
CS rep: Okay now press the enter key.
Caller: Where’s the enter key?

Earthlink Customer Service
San Jose, California

African-American CSR to team manager: Sir, this customer says that he wants to speak to someone else. He says he doesn't want to talk with a “nigger.”
Team manager: Ask him how he feels about talking to a gay Asian man.

Round Rock, Texas

Phone Rep: Sir, are you self-employed?…OK. And do you own the prison?

14700 Citicorp Drive
Hagerstown, Maryland

Caller, after lengthy pause: Sorry, I’m just unplugging the computer.
Tech support: That’s ok. I just pretend I’m getting one of those heavy breathing calls.

Memphis, Tennessee

Support staff: Hello, how can I help you?
Caller: Can I speak to Nora?
Support staff: I'm sorry, there is no Nora in this office.
Caller: I called yesterday too.
Support staff: Yes, I remember. There was no Nora yesterday, either.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Shamim

Woman: I’d like to pay my cell phone bill, but it’s in my son’s name and I don’t have the password to see it online. So, I need to know how much it is.
Employee: You can’t pay it without his authorization. I can’t tell you how much it is.
Woman: He can’t authorize anything, he’s incarcerated.
Employee: Well, we’ll need a copy of the obituary or the death certificate.
Woman: What? He’s incarcerated! [pause] He’s in jail.
Employee: Oh.

Frederick, Maryland

Customer service rep #1: Is it raining?
Customer service rep #2: The ground is wet.
Customer service rep #1: But is the… air… wet?

Newton, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Tom

Distracted CSR: Thank you for calling, my name is Aaron*, how can you help us today?

Airport Road
Scottsbluff, Nebraska

Overheard by: snorting coffee