Tennessee

11AM Reception

Co-worker #1: Have you seen [Amy]?
Secretary: Not in the past several minutes.
Co-worker #1: I hope she hurries up. I have to study for a test and my boss is breathing down my neck.
Co-worker #2: Hey! How are you?
Co-worker #1: I’d be better if [Amy] would hurry up and get here. I have a boss waiting on me and stuff I have to do.

Elevator dings. All look expectantly toward elevator, hoping to see [Amy]. Someone else comes out.

All in unison, disappointedly: Awww.

Paranoid co-worker #3: What? What did I do?

401 Church Street
Nashville, Tennessee

9AM TGIF

VP: Everyone’s getting pregnant here.
Co-worker: By the way, I’m going to be pregnant and gay on Monday.

1850 Elm Hill Pike
Nashville, Tennessee

Overheard by: V. Schipani

12PM Update Site

Business Services Manager: I just sent you that logo in Word format.
Web Manager: Word isn’t really an image format, but I can probably make it work.
Business Services Manager: Well, I probably have it in another format. I think I might have it as a Giraffe.

211 Commerce Street
Nashville, Tennessee

5PM I’m Leaving, Too

Boss #1: You’re taking off for your wedding; when will you be back?
Co-worker: Two weeks.
Boss #2: Yes, and when she gets back, she’ll no longer be a virgin.

609 Reliability Circle
Knoxville, Tennessee

Overheard by: Arthur Vandelay

2PM Send Off Tuition Check

Admissions clerk: Can I help you?
Student: I didn’t get credit for a class I took this summer.
Admissions clerk: Did you go to class?
Student: Sometimes.
Admissions clerk: Did you pay for the class or do you have a student loan?
Student: No.

120 White Bridge Road
Nashville, Tennessee

Overheard by: Susan Fanning

9AM It’s Gonna Be a Long Day

Secretary: Wow, this is not much work for Friday!
Boss: …Except that it’s Wednesday today.

Dogwood Ave, Building 1
Johnson City, Tennessee

I Love Comic Sans!

Geeky IT guy: How can you hate fonts?

Memphis, Tennessee

Overheard by: indifferent to fonts

So How about Dinner on Friday?

Sales manager: My husband and I used that new KY warming gel last night, and I thought of you.
Female sales assistant: Ummm, could you please not think of me while you’re having sex?
Sales manager: No, what I mean is…
Female sales assistant: No. Please, just stop.

Brentwood, Tennessee

Overheard by: sex object

Of Course They’re Expensive –They’re Moloko Dispensers

Hick girl #1: Look, I’m just saying, that bitch was a bitch.
Hick girl #2: She is such a bitch.
Hick girl #1: I know. And her costume wasn’t even funny.
Hick girl #2: I don’t think they’re supposed to be funny. I think they’re supposed to be scary.
Hick girl #1: Her tits are scary.
Hick girl #2: She’s always showin’ her tits. I don’t wanna see them scary-ass tits.
Bitch: My tits are expensive, you stupid hick bitches.
Hick girl #1: Why didn’t you say you were in there, bitch? God, you’re a bitch.
Hick girl #2: Bitch.

Nashville, Tennessee

Which Is Why I'm “Employee Of the Month”

CSR to coworker: I don't really understand sororities. I've always been able to make friends, get drunk and have random sex without having to pay dues.

Nashville, Tennessee

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