Caller, after lengthy pause: Sorry, I’m just unplugging the computer.
Tech support: That’s ok. I just pretend I’m getting one of those heavy breathing calls.
Memphis, Tennessee
Caller, after lengthy pause: Sorry, I’m just unplugging the computer.
Tech support: That’s ok. I just pretend I’m getting one of those heavy breathing calls.
Memphis, Tennessee
Woman at the copier: I'm not saying she's a whore, just that she likes penis more than her kids.
Jackson, Tennessee
Manager #1: He is just here to put out the fires that get lit under my ass.
Manager #2: Basically I’m the ass guard. I provide ass protection.
400 East 11th Street
Chattanooga, Tennessee
CSR: Good morning. ABC Bank* — how can I help you?
Customer: I’d like to talk to the person who answers the phones after hours — y’know, the 24-hour line?
CSR: The 24-hour line is automated, but I can put you through to–
Customer: –No, no, no. I want to talk to the lady who answers the phone when you’re closed.
CSR: Oh, see, that’s not an employee. It’s a recording.
Customer: What? No. See, I spoke to her three times last night and she knows my situation, so I need her. Is she there during the day?
CSR: … Sir, it’s not a real person. It’s a recording [hangs up].
Decatur, Tennessee
Outgoing office assistant helping new one fill out HR paperwork: Wow! You look so different in your driver's license picture.
New assistant: Yeah, I was so much skinnier and my hair was so much better.
Outgoing office assistant: How is your hair different now?
New assistant: Well, you know when you're having a bunch of sex, your hair changes?
Nashville, Tennessee
Coworker #1: About that e-mail you sent… Do you want me to copy the file onto a disc and mail it or do you want me to send the file as an e-mail attachment?
Coworker #2: So you can't just copy the file to a disc and e-mail the disc?
Brentwood, Tennessee
Indignant office girl: So she was like “and I'm going to so-and-so cafe and I'm eatin' so-and-so…”
Nashville, Tennessee
Nepotistic hire: How do I google?
Knoxville, Tennessee
Temp #1: Are you drinking hot water?
Temp #2: With some lemon, yeah. Why?
Temp #1: Doesn't hot water make you have to crap?
Temp #2: What?
Temp #1: Hot water makes my grandmother have to crap.
Temp #2: What?
Nashville, Tennessee
