Boss: So, how can we cut our costs?
Engineer #1: We could add cheap filler to the plastic.
Engineer #2: But that would reduce the strength.
Engineer #1: Okay, so it wouldn’t work for a space station, but it will work on a bucket.
2100 Adelbert Road
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Just passing through
Engineer #1: What’s up? Where have you been the last couple of days?
Engineer #2: I threw my back out from wearing armor all day Sunday.
Engineer #1: Bummer. Plate mail is tough on your back. I usually wear a heating pad under it.
Commercial Street
Manchester, New Hampshire
Hot intern girl: It sucks that we have to seal all these envelopes today.
Jewish intern guy: Yeah, well, I make it into a game, you see. I pick a number, and if I can’t seal that many envelopes in one minute, a bomb explodes!
Hot intern girl: Wow.
West Loop, Galleria Area
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: In the cube next door
Employee #1: Critical criteria. Critical criteria.
Employee #2: Is that some kind of new alarm?
Employee #1: No, I’m typing that in an email.
Employee #2: Oh. Is there something wrong with that?
Employee #1: No, why? Does it sound wrong?
Employee #2: It sounds kinda fancy.
Employee #1: So I should go with it?
Employee #2: If you want to be fancy, then you should.
Employee #1: I like to be fancy.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Receptionist: What did you think of that visiting speaker? He was kinda cute!
Engineer: What a dork!
Receptionist: So he was a dork by dork standards? Wow!
ASU Engineering Center
Tempe, Arizona
Agent #1: So, I see this girl, you know, in the grocery store. And she’s just this freak of a girl. A tall, thin freak. And it’s like this beam of light just descends on her, basking her in the smell of success. You know those moments?
Agent #2: The moments where you see tall, thin freaks?
Agent #1: Well, yeah — it’s like time stands still and you know you’ve just gotten the gold.
Agent #2: Yeah. It’s a religious experience.
Agent #1: Completely. Completely religious.
Outside DNA modeling agency, 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Frustrated lawyer on phone: I know they are engineers! But I cannot draft a contract using only Venn diagrams, mathematic equations and animé references!
Lamar Overland Park
Kansas
Overheard by: Needs A Drink
Tech #1: I’m starving. I should live off of my excess fat, like a doughboy.
Tech #2: I’ve never seen the Pillsbury Doughboy eat. He’s always right by food but never takes any.
Tech #1: Exactly… Hey, do you think if he ate a biscuit he would get the doughboy version of mad cow?
109 T.W. Alexander Drive
Durham, North Carolina
Geeky IT guy: How can you hate fonts?
Memphis, Tennessee
Overheard by: indifferent to fonts
Director of sales and marketing baby-talking and hugging his iBook: Some day you’re going to be a dinosaur and no one is going to like you! But not me! No, I love you, little iBook.
401 West Clarendon Avenue
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: reservations monster
