Alabama

Student: Mrs. Smith*, do you have any kids?
Mrs. Smith: No, I don’t have children.
Student: Did somebody steal them?

1212 Cheyenne Boulevard
Birmingham, Alabama

Overheard by: Sheri

Caller: I just arrived at my lake house for the summer, and the satellite TV isn’t working! Why is it off?!
CSR: Sir, please stay calm. It’s simple: we just need to reset your receiver since you’ve been away for a while.
Caller: How long will that take?
CSR: It’s easy, sir. Do you have a potato handy?
Caller: Um, let me see… [Pause] Yes, we just picked some up at the store on our way in — stocking up.
CSR: Great, sir. An apple would also work. Now, what I need you to do is to cut that potato in half. Then I need you place one half of the potato face-down on top of your receiver. Please make sure it’s dry.
Caller: What?
CSR: Trust me, sir, I’m a professional. We’ll have your service back on in no time.
Caller: Okay… [Long pause] Alright, done. Now what?
CSR: Great, sir. The potato will act upon your receiver’s magnetic field and will bring the service back online momentarily. It’s a built-in security feature so that no one can use your dish while you’re away for most of the year.

CSR presses service reset button, remote satellite transmits ‘wake up’ signal to inactive receiver, TV comes on.

Caller: That’s amazing! Who’d have thought… a potato! Will this work every time?
CSR: Just give us a call if you have any problems in the future, and thank you for using this service.

Bradford Drive
Huntsville, Alabama

Web editor: I'm a very colorful person. You have to get to know me before you see all the colors of my rainbow.
Reporter: I think we just had a Skittles moment.

Huntsville, Alabama

Overheard by: Niki D.

Black suit on cell: Lemme get this straight — she filed a restraining order against you and you’re still calling her and sending her flowers? That ain’t love, man. That’s… insanity.

Montgomery, Alabama

Overheard by: Kim

Sorority girl #1: I’m just worried we aren’t going to have enough money.
Sorority girl #2: No, we wrote a letter to Oprah.

Auburn, Alabama

Overheard by: frightened grad student

Coworker: You a drug rep?
Drug rep: Yep.
Coworker: What do you sell?
Drug rep: Well, if you're bleeding out your ass, I'm your man.

Independence Drive
Birmingham, Alabama

Overheard by: hongrime

Office lady #1: What are you bringing tomorrow?
Office lady #2: Muffin tops.
Office lady #1: What are those?
Office lady #3: Uhhhh… the tops of muffins.
Office lady #1: Where from?

Birmingham, Alabama

Intern: Is DE the state code for Detroit or Delaware?
Graphic designer: Um, Detroit is a city.
Intern: [Silence]

10 Office Park Circle
Birmingham, Alabama

Overheard by: Stacy Kate

Co-worker #1: We could stick it to his forehead like this.
Co-worker #2: Try it out before you stick it anywhere; mine’s kinda
sensitive.

2904 Westcorp Boulevard
Huntsville, Alabama

Overheard by: Josh Roberson

Middle aged woman going to sorority reunion: Isn't Spencer's like a five and dime store?
Friend: No! It's a nasty, nasty, dirty store. I can hardly stand to go in there.
Middle aged woman: Well, what did you go there for?
Friend: I had to get a blow-up doll. They didn't have any.

Airport
Birmingham, Alabama