Large woman looking in bathroom stall: Lord, I can't even fit in there! I'm just gonna hold it.
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Large woman looking in bathroom stall: Lord, I can't even fit in there! I'm just gonna hold it.
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Peon #1: Isn't that just going to make the situation worse? Man, that's going to mess everything up over there!
Commander: Well, you can't just stand in the rain and yell!
Peon #2: Ha-ha! rrrghh! I hate the rain!
Washington Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Overheard by: El Monsoon
Sarge: Well… you could also use it literally like: “If I fucked your mother. I would be a motherfucker.”
Academy Street
Newark, Delaware
Overheard by: Shaye
Receptionist on phone: I'll be shorter than a midget on his knees!
Washington Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Soldiers are doing push-ups on frost-covered grass.
Soldier #1: Man, it’s cold! I can’t feel my hands!
Soldier #2: I can’t feel my testicles.
Soldier #3: My testicles are all crawled up inside my body…so snug…and so warm…
Soldier #4: I wish I was a testicle.
Soccer field #3
Fort Eustis, Virginia
Coworker #1: How’s the weather outside?
Coworker #2: Pretty good, it’s like getting spit on.
Brooklyn Army Terminal
Brooklyn, New York
Sailor, with sheet to sign: I need your signature on this.
Boss man: Ok, do you have a pen?
Sailor: Uh… No.
Boss: Tell me, Frank, how am I supposed to sparkle if you don’t give me any glitter? [Storms out of the room.]
Pt. Mugu Naval Base, California
Computer guy: I wonder what it is that makes it feel so damn cold in this building sometimes?
Graphics dude: Maybe it’s the temperature.
Dyess Air Force Base
Texas
Overheard by: Michael Philippus
Peon: Don't get stoned with two birds in one throw. (pause) Wait…
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Program manager: Would you let me mess with his head for just two minutes?
Hill Air Force Base
Utah
Overheard by: Snickering Intern
