Management: We’ve got to keep the inertia going.

7234 Lancaster Pike
Hockessin, Delaware

X-ray tech getting off phone: My son wants me to come home so bad. My kids always get like that when they are sick.
Coworker: Well, isn’t your husband at home with him?
X-ray tech: Yes, but they always want me instead — they are so attached. It’s probably because I used to sing them this really cute song when they were babies.
Coworker: What’s that?
X-ray tech: ‘Mommy’s your best friend, Mommy’s your best friend, Daddy’s your second best friend!’

Newark, Delaware

Overheard by: Thugalicious Baller

Feisty secretary: Man, could that man spit!

Newcastle, Delaware

Overheard by: What else could he do?

Semi-boss: No, I mean, I just misspelled every single word and, like, inverted letters and stuff.
Assistant: Maybe your hands were in the wrong place on the keyboard… Or maybe you have that thing that Tom Cruise has.
Semi-boss: Scientology?

Newark, Delaware

Black lady cleaning out her desk: I got to get rid of all these crackers in here.
White guy passing through: I heard that!

Wilmington, Delaware

Overheard by: Saltine McCrackerface

Account manager: So I sent you that new job applicant. Have fun.
Recruiter: I just opened it up. Wow, she completely misspelled ‘Delaware State.’
Account manager: Oh, it gets worse.
Recruiter: ‘Seven years,’ with an ‘-s!’ And she spelled ‘with’ wrong!
Account manager: Yep, and she’s a detail-oriented professional.

Trolley Square
Wilmington, Delaware

Overheard by: Rhymes with Banana

Director of operations: I could get paid a lot of money to put a dildo in my ass, and then I’d be walking around with a dildo in my ass, but that would be lame too.

Elkton Road
Newark, Delaware

Supervisor: You guys are just like my family!
Office peon: Yeah, except we don’t throw your shit in the river.

Academy Street
Newark, Delaware

Overheard by: Dude

Female boss to male underling, about predicted upcoming snow storm: Tell me how many inches it is and then I'll decide if I have to be afraid of it!

Felton, Delaware

Photographer: Well, you don't want to get blood all over your car…