Secretary #1: I have Mountain Dew.
Secretary #2: Excuse me?
Secretary #1: I have Mountain Dew. (pause) My boobs are sweating.
Wilmington, Delaware
Secretary #1: I have Mountain Dew.
Secretary #2: Excuse me?
Secretary #1: I have Mountain Dew. (pause) My boobs are sweating.
Wilmington, Delaware
Security guy: I could be an officer, you know.
Sarge: Oh, shut the fuck up.
Security guy: No, really. It’s just politics stopping me! Just politics!
Sarge: Oh, is Rudy fucking Giuliani preventing you from becoming a police officer? Why don’t you fucking explain that to all of us?
Public Safety
Newark, Delaware
Overheard by: Shaye
Male officer: I’ve hit women before.
Female coworker: I bet you have.
Male officer: Prisoners. Like this one who tried to scratch me. I told her, ‘You’re not a cat, and I’m not a post. Now I’m gonna have to change your future.’
Newark, Delaware
Employee #1: I can’t believe I spent four hours working on my lawn over the weekend!
Employee #2: Yeah, it seems like most people don’t understand that a beautiful lawn doesn’t grow on trees.
Employee #1: [Stares silently.]Employee #2: It doesn’t, y’know.
Wilmington, Delaware
Overheard by: Bryan
Supervisor: We can’t say ‘Summer Solutions’ on this brochure, because it might confuse people in California because it’s summer all the time there. Any ideas of how to reword this?
Staffer: It’s not summer all the time in California. It’s summer during summer time.
Supervisor: But it’s warm all year round, so how do they know it’s summer? We need a way to explain that these things are only intended for the summer.
Staffer: But they still know what summer is, even if it’s still warm during the other seasons.
Supervisor: I’m not sure about that…
Staffer: Summer isn’t about temperature, it’s about the direction of Earth’s axis. Summer is always in June, July, and August. It always starts with the solstice in June.
Supervisor: I don’t know anything about solstices and all that. Let’s just reword this.
Staffer: But California still has a summer. I’m telling you, they know what summer is.
Supervisor: I don’t know. They might get confused.
Staffer: Confused about what?
Supervisor: Confused about when summer is. Like, it’s summer right now, ’cause it’s been warm lately.
Staffer: No… April is in the spring.
Delaware
Overheard by: rofl in cube next door
Coworker #1: You look pensive.
Coworker #2: Well, I’m trying to come up with a new cliché.
Delaware
Voice over the PA: If you see people in camouflage running around with guns and hear explosions, it is okay.
Hall Drive
Wilmington, Delaware
Overheard by: Zarbettu
