Large coworker: What you do is you split the Krispy Kreme in half and grill it, then put the cheeseburger on it, and I swear, it’s the best way to have it.
Capitol Hill
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Jessica
Large coworker: What you do is you split the Krispy Kreme in half and grill it, then put the cheeseburger on it, and I swear, it’s the best way to have it.
Capitol Hill
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Jessica
Elevator-Rider #1: Hey, are you still working in homicide?
Elevator-Rider #2: Nah, I left homicide a while ago. Now I’m in sexual predators. It’s great ’cause I don’t have to be on call anymore, and I have weekends free.
King County Administration Building
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: B
Librarian #1: Is that you, Chelsea*?
Librarian #2: Yes.
Librarian #1: Oh good. I thought I waved to the wrong person.
Librarian #2: Oh, I didn’t see you wave.
Librarian #1, exasperated: Well I did it under the stall.
Librarian #2: I was looking at the wall.
Librarian #1, still exasperated: Well, let me do it again then.
401 Merritt 7
Norwalk, Connecticut
Overheard by: Proof Positive
Coworker #1: Let me tell you my big cannoli story! (coworker #2 giggles) No, it's not dirty.
Government Office
Washington, DC
Recruiter for aid programs in Afghanistan: I talked with one Mark Johnson* — an 82-year-old WWII vet. He doesn’t hear well, but would love to see some combat. I told him that I would see what we could arrange.
Manager: Ummm…
Recruiter: Dude, sarcasm?
7250 Woodmont Avenue
Bethesda, Maryland
Guy on bench: I know, this is ridiculous. I’ve been waiting three hours to turn myself in.
Precinct 1
Cincinnati, Ohio
Flustered bailiff: Ok, I sound a little obsessed with this woman I have zero connection to other than she had sex with the delivery guy my married co-worker has a crush on, but seriously, what a whore.
Hall of Justice
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Administration
Male coworker: There’s nothing worse than feeling not-so-fresh when you have a doctor between your legs.
Female coworker just walking into the conversation: Huh?
200 Constitution Avenue
Washington, DC
Intern #1: I will do all of your House bills if you get up and dance right now!
Intern #2: No.
Co-Worker: Why would you pay all of his house bills if he dances? That’s like $100!
Intern #1: House, like House of Representatives!
Co-Worker: We have access to the legislature’s power bills?
Political Office
Raleigh, North Carolina
Overheard by: Jason B.
Phone monkey to supervisor getting beer out of bag: So, can I drink this at my desk or do I have to go outside?
Government Call Centre
Canberra
Australia
