Kind supervisor: I just wanted to ask you to lower your voice a little bit. You must have gotten some good news on the phone, but you were a little rambunctious with the language. I think you said (whispering) “shit” three times during that call.
Embarrassed secretary: You ask so little of me, and I still can't do it. I mean, who has to tell a grown woman not to yell “shit” in a crowded office?
Government Office
Tampa, Florida
Mail teller: You’ll need to call 1-800-USPS. Wait. That doesn’t sound right. It must be 1-800-USPS though.
Customer: Okay. Thanks!
Post Office
Rochester, New York
Overheard by: How many digits in a phone number?
Crazy coworker, nonchalantly: I knew a guy who killed his girlfriend. Stuffed her in the wall…
Government Office
Washington, DC
Coworker #1: So, you’re saying that in the movie he twisted the towel so tight it became a sword?
Coworker #2: Yeah, like, if you spin a towel tight enough it gets rigid, but if you put Kung Fu in it, it’s like a weapon.
Government agency
Washington, DC
Overheard by: kung fu master
Joyous cube dweller: Yay! My ass works!
DIT
Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: Across From The Shit Show
Staffer working on Patriot Act: Power is always abused; we were putting the Japanese in intermittent camps in the thirties during World War I.
Dirksen Senate Office Building
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Intern
Older gent doing crossword: What's a five letter word for “Stem with a bow?”
Secretary: That's “Stern with a bow”.
Older gent: So it's not “stem”? That doesn't make sense. I'm putting in “Oleo”.
State Office
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Sandy Paws
New supervisor, straight from the military: It’s my job to protect you from the people above me.
26-year veteran of the agency: I’ve got Jesus and a man. I don’t need any more protection than that.
Federal Office Building
Washington DC
Overheard by: Wasting my best years
Flood vic #1: So I said to my boss, “I won’t be able to make the meeting in NYC, because my house is flooded and I had to evacuate.”
Flood vic #2: So what did she say?
Flood vic #1: She said that she was stressed out about having to cancel the meeting and incoveniencing the people in NYC.
Flood shelter cot
Overheard by: sitting on a cot waiting for Noah.
State senator, addressing the senate about DNA swabbing: Of course it's invasive, you're sticking something in someone else's mouth!
State Senate
Raleigh, North Carolina
