DC and Mid-Atlantic

Boss: [Elizabeth], we wish you the best. You are a nice person and if you ever want to come back to work here, you are welcome. Now where is [Rachel]? [Rachel], do you want to say a few words? Because I can only comment on [Elizabeth] as a person, not her work.

1425 New York Avenue NW
Washington, DC

Loner geek, answering phone: The Phoenix rises at 3 pm. (hangs up phone)

Washington, DC

Overheard by: Bec215

Manager #1: My kids SUCK at arts and crafts.
Manager #2: No glitter? No glue? No macaroni or popsicle sticks?
Manager #1: Holy shit, no. They are the epitome of suck.

West Irving Park Road
Roselle, Illinois

White HR director: I’ve never touched someone’s head like that before! I touched it, and it was all wavy. I told him, you’re the first African-American person’s head I’ve ever touched. You should feel honored.

8900 Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Just an office girl…

Recruiter for aid programs in Afghanistan: I talked with one Mark Johnson* — an 82-year-old WWII vet. He doesn’t hear well, but would love to see some combat. I told him that I would see what we could arrange.
Manager: Ummm…
Recruiter: Dude, sarcasm?

7250 Woodmont Avenue
Bethesda, Maryland

Coworker: If you’re gonna do it, do it hard so I can’t breathe.

113 East Carroll Street
Salisbury, Maryland

Exec #1: Should we offer 5gb or 25gb packages?
Exec #2: I am in favor of larger packages…

Washington, DC

Overheard by: Slomojamma

New hire: Can't we maybe be more optimistic about the sales projections?
Boss: Optimism? Optimism? Optimism is just lack of information.

Washington, DC

Congressional staffer in hallway, in low voice: I gotta be careful who's around… It might be dangerous to be overheard.

House of Representatives Office Building
Washington, DC

Weird guy: Hey, has anyone ever been tased?

Government Office
Washington, DC