Crazy coworker: I like to think that when we die, we don't go to heaven but we go to our favorite decade.
Government Office
Washington, DC
Crazy coworker: I like to think that when we die, we don't go to heaven but we go to our favorite decade.
Government Office
Washington, DC
Male coworker: There’s nothing worse than feeling not-so-fresh when you have a doctor between your legs.
Female coworker just walking into the conversation: Huh?
200 Constitution Avenue
Washington, DC
Loud cube drone: It happened again!
Friend: What?
Loud cube drone: I couldn't sleep!
Friend: Oh no, what did you do?
Loud cube drone: Well, I didn't do anything this time. Usually I would just take one of those sleeping pills, like Zoloft, the ones I usually take…
Washington, DC
Female employee: Can I stick my hand in there without getting HIV?
Male employee: Yeah, but you might pull out a carrot or two.
Department of Homeland Security
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Cube around the corner
Bank coworker: When she came in this morning, she didn’t even have her eye in. She could have at least worn some sunglasses or something.
Maybank Highway
Johns Island, South Carolina
Staffer working on Patriot Act: Power is always abused; we were putting the Japanese in intermittent camps in the thirties during World War I.
Dirksen Senate Office Building
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Intern
Boss on phone: I just want a human beeeeeeing! Bahhh! Why can’t I just have a human being?…Oh thank god!Finally! A human being! Wait, you are a human being, right?…You haven’t gotten this before?
2810 Blaine Drive
Chevy Chase, Maryland
Customer: We’d like to get a gallon of paint.
Employee: Ok, what sheen would you like?
Customer: What’s “sheen”?
Employee: The sheen is how shiny the paint is. There are different sheens for different rooms.
Customer: What would you recommend?
Employee: Where is it going?
Customer: On the wall.
45075 Worth Avenue
California, Maryland
Overheard by: Paint Chick
Coworker, musing: I wonder what a black gay Mormon would sound like.
Government Office
Washington, DC
Office admin: They say they don't have the files in a higher resolution.
Female boss: Ugh! These stations are such losers!
National Public Broadcasting Org
Washington, DC
