Attorney: This work shit has got to stop. It’s really bringing me down.
301 Merritt Seven
Norwalk, Connecticut
Attorney: This work shit has got to stop. It’s really bringing me down.
301 Merritt Seven
Norwalk, Connecticut
Warehouse employee, furiously banging tools around: Happy place, go to your happy place.
150 Batson Drive
Manchester, Connecticut
overheard by: I love this place!
New training manager: Back in the day, I had a great idea. I know we’re into this touchy‐feely self‐esteem human resource stuff, but I said: “Take the supervisor who has the highest rate of unqualified, untrained direct reports, walk him to the end of the pier, and shoot him!” They told me I couldn’t do that. But it would have been effective!
75 Eastern Point Road
Groton, Connecticut
Customer: Is Office 2003 the latest version of Office that’s out?
Salesperson: Yeah, they most likely won’t come out with a new version until Vista is released, which should be about the end of the year.
Customer: What’s that?
Salesperson: Vista?
Customer: Yeah, Rista? What is that? Is that the new Office?
Salesperson: No, Vista is the new operating system that’s coming out. Last I heard Microsoft was planning to release it near the end of this year.
Customer: Microsoft’s going to sell computers now?
Salesperson: No, Vista is the operating system that gets installed on computers. It’s what makes your computer run.
Customer: Oh, yeah, I knew that already. Are you going to be carrying Microsoft’s new computers?
Willard Building
State College, Pennsylvania
Customer #1: Does the Peaks Island Ferry go to Peaks Island?
Ticket agent: Yes.
Customer#1: Does it come back?
Customer #2: No, it’s the barge to Hades. It only goes one way.
Casco Bay Lines Ferry Terminal
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: Jeff Jenks
Tech support rep: …the accelerator card. No, the one connected to your array. OK, uplug that.
Pause
Tech support rep: OK, are you grounded?
Pause
Tech support rep: OK, gently pull it from the slot.
Pause
Tech support rep: Now lick it.
Pause, snickering, then slight panic.
Tech support rep: No sir. I was just kidding.
290 Donald Lynch Blvd.
Marlborough, Massachusetts
Overheard by: James McCabe
Manager to customer: At what point do you see this conversation getting any better for you?
10 Scotia Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Female coworker to male coworker: Do these pants make me look like I have a penis?
Lisbon Street
Lewiston, Maine
Overly exuberant raffle organizer: I’ll drag someone in, blindfold them, and say “stick your hand in this!”
New England
Overheard by: Dude
Employee: I asked for tomorrow off, ’cause I don’t feel like working in the rain. I’ll probably go fishing, though — I don’t mind fishing in the rain.
150 Batson Drive
Manchester, Connecticut
