New England

Receptionist: [Jake] from Queer Image is on line one for you.
Coworker: [Jake] from where?
Receptionist: Queer Image.
Coworker: Queer Image?
Receptionist: Uh-huh.
Coworker, giggling, picks up call: [Jake], what company did you say you were calling from? Ohhhhh, CLEAR Image.

150 Batson Drive
Manchester, Connecticut

Overheard by: She cracks me up, and she’s not even trying

Employee is showing off her new belly-dancing outfit.

Supervisor: So, you’re really going to belly-dance in public?
Employee: Yeah!
Supervisor: I never really liked going to strip clubs when I was younger.

150 Batson Drive
Manchester, Connecticut

Overheard by: I love this place!

Coworker #1: How was your vacation?
Coworker #2: Good, except my boyfriend got sick. We think it was on some sushi.
Coworker #1: That’s what he gets for drinking that stuff!

150 Batson Drive
Manchester, Connecticut

Overheard by: I love this place!

Attorney: This work shit has got to stop. It’s really bringing me down.

301 Merritt Seven
Norwalk, Connecticut

Warehouse employee, furiously banging tools around: Happy place, go to your happy place.

150 Batson Drive
Manchester, Connecticut

overheard by: I love this place!

New training manager: Back in the day, I had a great idea. I know we’re into this touchy-feely self-esteem human resource stuff, but I said: “Take the supervisor who has the highest rate of unqualified, untrained direct reports, walk him to the end of the pier, and shoot him!” They told me I couldn’t do that. But it would have been effective!

75 Eastern Point Road
Groton, Connecticut

Customer: Is Office 2003 the latest version of Office that’s out?
Salesperson: Yeah, they most likely won’t come out with a new version until Vista is released, which should be about the end of the year.
Customer: What’s that?
Salesperson: Vista?
Customer: Yeah, Rista? What is that? Is that the new Office?
Salesperson: No, Vista is the new operating system that’s coming out. Last I heard Microsoft was planning to release it near the end of this year.
Customer: Microsoft’s going to sell computers now?
Salesperson: No, Vista is the operating system that gets installed on computers. It’s what makes your computer run.
Customer: Oh, yeah, I knew that already. Are you going to be carrying Microsoft’s new computers?

Willard Building
State College, Pennsylvania

Customer #1: Does the Peaks Island Ferry go to Peaks Island?
Ticket agent: Yes.
Customer#1: Does it come back?
Customer #2: No, it’s the barge to Hades. It only goes one way.

Casco Bay Lines Ferry Terminal
Portland, Maine

Overheard by: Jeff Jenks

Tech support rep: …the accelerator card. No, the one connected to your array. OK, uplug that.

Pause

Tech support rep: OK, are you grounded?

Pause

Tech support rep: OK, gently pull it from the slot.

Pause

Tech support rep: Now lick it.

Pause, snickering, then slight panic.

Tech support rep: No sir. I was just kidding.

290 Donald Lynch Blvd.
Marlborough, Massachusetts

Overheard by: James McCabe

Manager to customer: At what point do you see this conversation getting any better for you?

10 Scotia Street
Boston, Massachusetts