Chinese immigrant driver: Everyone is talking about gay marriage. What is ‘gay’?
Lady driver: It’s, uh, when two men or two women like each other in a, uh, sexual way.
Chinese immigrant driver: Oh! We don’t have that in China.
Calgary International Airport Parkade
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Girl Driver #2
Building manager: Did you get that poop under control?
Maintenance guy: I’ll deal with it on Monday.
7025 Kit Creek Road
Research Triangle Park, North Carolina
Overheard by: mac774
Meat clerk: So, Mitch*, how old is your daughter?
Mitch: 19. Why, you wanna fuck her? She’s a whore. Joe* already fucked her.
Joe: He doesn’t have a daughter.
Supermarket
Buffalo, New York
Overheard by: Fishmonger
Customer: Do you have a bottle of coke?
Waitress: No.
Customer: What do you have?
Waitress: Coke.
Corper’s Lodge
Okobo, Akwa Ibom, Nigeria
Sales chick, holding sales order: How big is this part? Can it go UPS or does it need a skid?
Warehouse guy: Oh, no, that one is real small. It could fit up my nose.
Sales chick: Um… OK, moving on… They asked for this part a week ago, so I’m going to have it ship today instead of with their large order. Thanks!
Warehouse guy, sticking finger up his nose: Are you sure you don’t want to see how big it is?
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Customer #1: Does the brownie pie have nuts on it?
Waitress: No.
Customer #2: Why do you want to know if it has nuts on it?
Customer #1: Because I don’t like nuts on my dessert.
Waitress: Do you like nuts on your chin?
Parkland Plaza
Cayce, South Carolina
Overheard by: Trying not to choke
Grease monkey #1: That woman over there…
Grease monkey #2: Yeah?
Grease monkey #1: Is she deaf or something?
Grease monkey #2: Yeah, she’s deaf.
Grease monkey #1: But she looks just like any other woman, yo!
Jiffy Lube, Rosecrans Boulevard
San Diego, California
Overheard by: BigWig
Customer: Excuse me, miss!
Waitress: Yes, sir?
Customer: My soup is too soupy.
Waitress: Well, I’m sorry, sir, if your soup is too soupy, but it is soup.
Point Pleasant, New Jersey
Overheard by: he deserved it
Rep on phone with trucker: You do know you can’t drive your rig into the ocean, right? That’s bad…Oh, okay. Well, I hope you have a nice view.
1368 Old Fannin Road, Suite 400
Brandon, Mississippi
Security guard #1: You hear about that wedding today? Someone’s gettin’ married in the park.
Security guard #2: Who? Bert and Ernie?
GR rep: Not in this state.
Sesame Place
Langhorne, Pennsylvania
