Blue Collar

Customer: So, this Wild Mushroom Pizza, does it have mushrooms on it?
Waitress: Ummm, yeah.

701 Lynnhaven Parkway
Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: Cassandra

Receptionist to air conditioner repair man: My fanny thing leaks!
Cube dwellers, listening: What?
Receptionist: It drips on my desk.

New Zealand

Overheard by: YOUR WHAT!!!

Handyman: Can you see the pipe?
Owner of record store, with head in ceiling: Yeah, I think it's rusted though.
Handyman, under breath: Your mom's pipes are rusted through.

Newark, Delaware

Mechanic #1: I climbed your tree last night.
Mechanic #2: You climbed my tree?
Mechanic #1: Don't worry about it.


Biotechy waitress: It is really nice having dishwasher boy here.
Polite waitress: He has a name! His name is Rick*!
Biotechy waitress, to Rick: Do you mind if I call you ‘dishwasher boy’?
Dishwasher boy: No! It means I have a job title!

931 Redd Road
El Paso, Texas

Auto claims adjuster on phone: I'm authorized to offer you $1,000 for the pain and suffering I'm about to give you.

Brentwood, Tennessee

Peon on the phone: My brother in-law’s sister is coming over tonight, I think I’m gonna nail her. [Pauses.] Why not? He nailed mine.

Industrial Park Drive

Overheard by: peon incharge

Waitress: My boyfriend is half Italian but he is mostly white.

Cucamonga, California

Overheard by: halfbreed

Construction worker: Man, just being in this place makes me want
to learn how to read.

841 Broadway
New York, NY

Suit: Why do we have Swiss Miss and Nesquik?
Warehouse guy: Ummm, they’re not the same thing.
Suit: How so? They both make hot chocolate!
Warehouse guy: Well, maybe cause Swiss Miss goes in milk and water?
Suit: So why don’t we just keep this around? It’s a multi-tasking hot chocolate!
Warehouse guy: Huh? Ummm, well, maybe people like the way Nesquik ‘multi-tasks.’ It can be put in cold or hot milk. Good for the summer.
Suit: And this can’t?
Warehouse guy: Dunno. Don’t think so…
Suit: Forget it! I’ll have coffee!

The Boulevard
Norfolk, Virginia

Overheard by: CoffeeJunky