Blue Collar

Amtrak conductor #1: There's no quiet car on this train, folks.
Amtrak conductor #2: That's right. This is the party train. We gonna get arrested tonight.

South Station
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: enigmattic

WASP: I know what that says! It’s written in Jewish!
Bagel wench: Yiddish?
WASP: Are you Jewish?

Noah’s Bagels, Manhattan Beach Boulevard
Manhattan Beach, California

Overheard by: just wants to make bagels in peace

University maintenance worker, over walkie-talkie: I was just talking with Lisa, and she says she has like a weird smell in her room. So I was gonna ask if you could come over here and help me smell it.

Hawaii

Overheard by: It takes two people?

Englishman: Can I have a tablespoon, please?
Puzzled waitress: Is that a spoon?

University and 30th Street
San Diego, California

Overheard by: Zombie

Fire chief to maintenance worker: I need one with a big bottom, so it doesn't flip over.

Washington State

Admin assistant to African American maintenance guy: Hey, what was that 17 inch black thing you said you needed?

Inkster, Michigan

Overheard by: Wish I hadn't heard it

Construction guy #1, about roof: Why do they need to jack it another inch?
Construction guy #2: To spread the load.

Hawthorne, New York

Man: Is that a real rugby shirt or one of those trendy fake ones?
Woman: It's a trendy one. It's Ralph Lauren. Can't you read the r. F.I. C.?
Man: Well I didn't want to stare… I stare enough already!

Georgetown, Kentucky

Security Guard: So I told her, “I’m ’bout to go over there & milk that goat. The baby’s gotta have sum’inta eat.”

9800 Kellner Road SW
Huntsville, Alabama

Irish construction worker #1, exiting job site: You know what's wrong with this job?
Irish construction worker #2, behind him: What?
Irish construction worker #1: We're workin' on an Irish bar, and there's no bloody beer!
Irish construction worker #2: Sure there is! There's Guinness!
Both, in chorus: In cans! (they spit on the ground)

Haigh Street
San Francisco, California