Blue Collar

Englishman: Can I have a tablespoon, please?
Puzzled waitress: Is that a spoon?

University and 30th Street
San Diego, California

Overheard by: Zombie

Fire chief to maintenance worker: I need one with a big bottom, so it doesn't flip over.

Washington State

Admin assistant to African American maintenance guy: Hey, what was that 17 inch black thing you said you needed?

Inkster, Michigan

Overheard by: Wish I hadn't heard it

Construction guy #1, about roof: Why do they need to jack it another inch?
Construction guy #2: To spread the load.

Hawthorne, New York

Man: Is that a real rugby shirt or one of those trendy fake ones?
Woman: It's a trendy one. It's Ralph Lauren. Can't you read the r. F.I. C.?
Man: Well I didn't want to stare… I stare enough already!

Georgetown, Kentucky

Security Guard: So I told her, “I’m ’bout to go over there & milk that goat. The baby’s gotta have sum’inta eat.”

9800 Kellner Road SW
Huntsville, Alabama

Irish construction worker #1, exiting job site: You know what's wrong with this job?
Irish construction worker #2, behind him: What?
Irish construction worker #1: We're workin' on an Irish bar, and there's no bloody beer!
Irish construction worker #2: Sure there is! There's Guinness!
Both, in chorus: In cans! (they spit on the ground)

Haigh Street
San Francisco, California

Contractor: …so we should definitely take a good look at him. I
don’t want to snowball with more mess.
Specialist: …Um…Yeah.

12443 Olive Boulevard
St. Louis, Missouri

Butcher #1: What does that bacon look like to you
Butcher #2: An abortion?
Butcher #1: Exactly. So fix it!

1177 W. Market Street
Akron, Ohio

Overheard by: Nate Kelly

Intern: Where’s will-call? I have to drop off tickets.
Security dude: Will Call? Who’s that? [Calls manager over] Manager chick: You’re looking for Will?

662 6th Avenue
New York, NY