Electrician: I think I may have made a mistake.
Owner of office: Ya think so? What gave it away, the flames?
528 Newtown Road
Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Mike
Electrician: I think I may have made a mistake.
Owner of office: Ya think so? What gave it away, the flames?
528 Newtown Road
Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Mike
Delivery driver: I’ve never had to stop and check in before.
Guard: Yes, you have. We started doin’ it after two-eleven.
Delivery driver: You mean nine-eleven?
Guard, rolling eyes: No. Two-eleven, when them people crashed them planes. Two-eleven.
Delivery driver: That was in September.
Guard: Two-eleven.
Circle Center Mall Security Office
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Warehouse worker: You look nice today. You going somewhere after this?
Girl in dress: No, I just wanted to air out my vagina.
Emeryville, California
Overheard by: warehouse peon
Suit: Um, you have some sort of foreign object in your hair.
Electrician: Yeah, they threw confetti at me at the last office.
111 West Ocean Boulevard
Long Beach, California
Building service: Coffee’s shit, man.
White collar: Yeah. Gotta work, though.
The building service person snorts an imaginary line from the countertop.
Building service: Dat’s da shit you need, man. Coke id up.
1114 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY
Barmaid: I know, but it’s funnier as an STD.
Seattle, Washington
Cube neighbor, after getting off phone with daughter: Oh, my kids!
Warehouse employee, walking by: We should all kill our kids. Oh, wait, did I say that out loud?
Irvine, California
Overheard by: scared cube-dweller
Co-worker #1: What is a good exercise for the lower abs?
Co-worker #2: Well, I can think of one exercise that’s really good for the abs…
Co-worker #3: yeah, but only if he can last longer than 5 minutes.
The copy repairman pops out from under the copier.
Repairman: Well ladies, it’s been an entertaining afternoon.
8565 SW Beaverton-Hillsdale Highway
Portland, Oregon
Repairman on phone: Sometimes they bust out and you’ve got to give them oral…
1200 West Main Street
Tomball, Texas
Overheard by: Sarah Lashley
Warehouse worker: Can you fax this document to a P.O. box for me?
Shipping clerk: Usually I would “fax” this to a P.O. Box for you [Gina], but my fax machine is down right now. So maybe you should “buy” a stamp and use the Postal Service for this one!
Warehouse worker: Oh, okay, thanks for the help. Where do we keep the
stamps and who works in the Postal Service?
495 3rd Street
Pineville, Louisiana
Overheard by: Lesn N. Tothem
