Mississippi

Employee #1: Ugh! I hate it when [Allison] brings her bratty kid to work.
Employee #2: [Allison] knows he is a brat. He turned her into a coyote mother.
Employee #1: What?!
Employee #2: A coyote mother is when you gnaw your own ovaries off so you can’t have more brats.

Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi

Group leader: You filed the wrong report for this transaction.
Clerk: That’s the way [Lisa] trained me to do it.
Group leader: Which proves idiotisms are contagious.
Clerk: Yeah, you’re right… I mean no…. I mean, I don’t like it when you make me have to think about what you say.

5760 East Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi

Co-worker #1: [Steph], I never believed the stereotype about blonde women until I met you.
[Steph]: Thanks!

1000 Jerry St. Pe’ Highway
Pascagoula, Mississippi

Clerk trying to price-check produce: Now, how is it you spell cucumber? Is that with a K or a Q?

Supermarket
Biloxi, Mississippi

New HR clerk: Hey, I forgot what I just said. What did I just say?
Old HR clerk: Sorry, but I’m still busy trying to remember your name.

5760 Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi

Overheard by: Brain Dancing

Customer rep: Hey, it’s 112 inches tall. Is that legal?
Truck rep: No.
Customer rep: Well, we’re doing it anyway.

1368 Old Fannin Road, Suite 400
Flowood, Mississippi

Overheard by: the Intern

Guy clerk: Hey, this safety pamphlet says to get into the bathtub if a tornado is coming.
Gal clerk: Well, duh, why don’t they just build houses shaped like giant bathtubs?

5760 East Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi

Overheard by: Brain Dancing

HR clerk: He got so excited and he crapped all over himself.
Receptionist, laughing: Did Jim [manager] do that again?
Hr clerk: Uh, no, I was talking about my new puppy.
Receptionist: Oh, forget what I just said. Please forget! I was supposed to forget.

Pearl, Mississippi

Overheard by: Brain Dancing

Instructor: Nine times out of ten, if you shoot at something you're either going to hit it or miss it.

Camp Shelby, Mississippi

Co-worker #1: Why are you sitting there starring at your monitor while the computer is off?
Co-worker #2: Because I recieved a server message stating that it was going to install something on my computer and that I should save everything before 15 minutes are up because the system will shut down.
Co-worker #1: Did you save everything?
Co-worker #2: Yes.
Co-worker #1: Did the computer shut down by itself?
Co-worker #2: Yes.
Co-worker #1: So, why are you sitting there starring at the monitor while the computer is off?
Co-worker #2: I’m waiting for the computer to start back up.
Co-worker #1: Have you pressed the power button?
Co-worker #2: No.

1000 Jerry St. Pe’ Highway
Pascagoula, Mississippi