Manager: It doesn't matter.
Clerk: Sorry, but my union guaranteed ass-covering requires that you specifically define “it.”
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
Manager: It doesn't matter.
Clerk: Sorry, but my union guaranteed ass-covering requires that you specifically define “it.”
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
Receptionist: Hey, help me with this list. The boss wants me to go to the store and get some stuff for the coffee room. You know, stuff like filters and cups and stuff. But I can’t figure out what these icet rays are.
HR clerk: Let me see the list…Sweetie, this says ice trays. You know, for the freezer to freeze water into cubes.
Receptionist: Are you sure? Because if the boss wants icet rays, that’s what I better get.
HR clerk: Well okay, if you really want icet rays, try the office supply store and make them check in the back. You may have to ask for their manager.
Receptionist: Thanks, see you in a little while.
HR clerk: You know, I should have used that opportunity to sell her a bridge.
5760 Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
Cleaning guy: Who peed in the trash can this time?
5780 Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
Clerk: Hey, man, y'all ever heard of Ms. Brady*, teacher at the middle school?
Guy: Yeah–I know her–big butt Brady*!
Clerk, scowling: Uhhh–that's my momma.
Convinence Store
South Mississippi
Overheard by: Mississippi Girl
Male office worker: Hold your hands out.
Female office worker: I am so tired of you squirting on me! And I don't want to be tied up unless I want to be. Got it?!
Baldwyn, Mississippi
Assistant manager: I wouldn’t be able to find anything in these files even with a Ouija board and a fifth of Jack Daniels.
5760 East Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
HR clerk: Maureen* broke another chair. Should I order her another chair designed for a person over three hundred pounds, or should I order an even stronger chair?
Manager: No! I am going to tell the maintenance guys to put her desk up on blocks! Then, I am going to tell Maureen that her job description has changed! She is now required to stand up to do her job!
[manager leaves]
HR clerk: Well, it is not going to be me that tells him that one of the toilets in the women’s restroom is broken.
5760 Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
Manager: New haircolor, huh? Did you fall into a bucket of paint?
Employee: New belt, huh? Did you fall into a buffet?
5760 Highway 80 East
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
Loud, angry voice from breakroom: Who forked the peanut butter?
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
Worker bee #1: Can I create a folder on my desktop?
Worker bee #2: Um, yes.
Worker bee #1: Can I save a PowerPoint to that folder?
Worker bee #2: Uhhh…
Worker bee #1: Can I then e-mail that PowerPoint to someone in the office? I need to somehow get this PowerPoint to a flash drive.
Gulfport, Mississippi
