News producer, holding a bachelorette party: Who the hell counts calories on a penis sucker?

Jackson, Mississippi

Engineer #1: July 21st–is that the equinox or the solstice? I always get the two mixed up.
Engineer #2 (home-schooled): I dunno… I don't know anything about that satanic stuff.


Ghetto chick: Girl, I don’t want to rob a grocery store lookin’ like this.

Jackson, Mississippi

Receptionist: I’m sorry sir, no one at the tower can answer your call right now, there is a quartet singing a valentine on the floor. [pause] No sir, I wouldn’t lie about such a thing.

N. Frontage Road
Jackson, Mississippi

Long-haired guitar dude to customer: Sometimes it's because the neck is warped. That can happen if you leave it out in the sun all night.

Biloxi, Mississippi

Overheard by: realized it 5 minutes later

Manager: We’re all inoperative here!

5760 East Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi

Teller: Sir, can you please send in your ID since you want to cash this check

Customer: Well, there’s a problem. I lost my ID, but I can give you my social security number, birthday, and even tell you the last several transactions on my account to verify.

Teller: Ok, what’s your birthday and social?

Customer: [gives information]

Teller: Ok, what were the last three charges on your account?

Customer: [gives information]

Teller: So…what’s this $450 charge Passion Parties?

Customer: [Laughter] Uh, that’s something my wife is involved in.

730 Adkins Boulevard
Jackson, Mississippi

Overheard by: Nathan Best

Contractor: …so we should definitely take a good look at him. I
don’t want to snowball with more mess.
Specialist: …Um…Yeah.

12443 Olive Boulevard
St. Louis, Missouri

Female tech: I have the funniest hiccups. They sound like kittens!
Boss: If you say so.

McComb, Mississippi

Nagster: For the last time, forms to Mexico have to be in Spanish and in triplicate, not in gibberish and in oneplicate!

5760 Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi

Overheard by: Brain Dancing