Producer: So, here is everything you need for the meeting.
Account Person: Okay. Did you get a chance to make the changes we talked about?
Produer: What changes?
Account Person: The changes that were brought up in the call. I talked about them in the conference wrap-up email.
Producer: I didn’t get a conference wrap-up email.
Account Person: Well I know, I didn’t send it to you yet.
466 Lexington Avenue
New York, NY
Accountant on speaker: Okay, I tried entering my password and it didn’t work.
Tech: I reset it to “password.”
Accountant on speaker: Okay, let me try my password again.
Tech: Make sure you type “password.”
Accountant on speaker: It didn’t work again.
Tech: Iou typed far too many letters for the word “password.” Did you type in “password” as your password?
Accountant on speaker: Yu never told me to do that.
Tech: So what part of my sentance confused you: “Type in the word
‘password’ when it asks you for your password”, or “I reset it for you, your password is now ‘password.'”
Accountant on speaker: I have a CPA, don’t talk to me like that.
Tech: I can make up acronyms too. I’ll be in your office in five
minutes. In the meantime, ponder this one: I’m OMGWTF certified.
220 Woodbine Road
Downingtown, Pennsylvania
Underling: You’ve got mail!
Financial Analyst: I don’t know that person. All right, I’ll take it.
Underling: There was some white powder in there, but I smelled it; it seemed fine.
Financial Analyst: Well, that’s good. Terrorists don’t use anthrax anymore.
Underling: Just family and friends now, huh? Excellent.
27 Terrace Drive
Vernon, Connecticut
Sales engineer: Hey, you can’t use that, that’s a sales punch!
Accountant: Care to see a finance punch?
59 Marsh Lane
Solihull, West Midlands
UK
Banker: You can’t leave your coffee cup on the edge of my desk. A client almost drank out of it today.
Secretary: You know you want to lick my rim.
2 South Main Street
Youngstown, Ohio
AR person: You gotta love it when they send in a prayer card with their check.
1250 Broadway
New York, NY
Perky new faculty member: Hi! I'm Marie*! It's nice to meet you.
(everyone exchanges handshakes and sits down)
Confused accountant: I'm sorry, do you work here?
Pennsylvania
Overheard by: justwords77
Business analyst on phone: Hey, what do you need? The name of the user guide? It's the digital one… No, the digital guide. You know, like Digital Underground, only without Tupac… No, biggie wasn't in Digital Underground… Humpty Hump was… No, the guy with the gold nose… Okay, it's “h”… “u”… “m”…
Chantilly, Virginia
Overheard by: CubeRat
Bank teller #1: So what did you do?
Bank teller #2, wearing name tag that says “Sue*”: I told him my name was Kelly and I ran!
Dayton, Ohio
Accounting coworker: Nothing gets me hotter than a pivot table with five attributes.
Washington, DC
