Financial Folk

10AM Monitor Calls

Accountant on speaker: Okay, I tried entering my password and it didn’t work.
Tech: I reset it to “password.”
Accountant on speaker: Okay, let me try my password again.
Tech: Make sure you type “password.”
Accountant on speaker: It didn’t work again.
Tech: Iou typed far too many letters for the word “password.” Did you type in “password” as your password?
Accountant on speaker: Yu never told me to do that.
Tech: So what part of my sentance confused you: “Type in the word
‘password’ when it asks you for your password”, or “I reset it for you, your password is now ‘password.'”
Accountant on speaker: I have a CPA, don’t talk to me like that.
Tech: I can make up acronyms too. I’ll be in your office in five
minutes. In the meantime, ponder this one: I’m OMGWTF certified.

220 Woodbine Road
Downingtown, Pennsylvania

5PM Calling It a Day!

Underling: You’ve got mail!
Financial Analyst: I don’t know that person. All right, I’ll take it.
Underling: There was some white powder in there, but I smelled it; it seemed fine.
Financial Analyst: Well, that’s good. Terrorists don’t use anthrax anymore.
Underling: Just family and friends now, huh? Excellent.

27 Terrace Drive
Vernon, Connecticut

4PM Get More Hole Punches for Office

Sales engineer: Hey, you can’t use that, that’s a sales punch!
Accountant: Care to see a finance punch?

59 Marsh Lane
Solihull, West Midlands
UK

3PM Coffee Break

Banker: You can’t leave your coffee cup on the edge of my desk. A client almost drank out of it today.
Secretary: You know you want to lick my rim.

2 South Main Street
Youngstown, Ohio

2PM Catch Up on Receivables

AR person: You gotta love it when they send in a prayer card with their check.

1250 Broadway
New York, NY

Accounting's Always the Last to Learn About Expenditures

Perky new faculty member: Hi! I'm Marie*! It's nice to meet you.
(everyone exchanges handshakes and sits down)
Confused accountant: I'm sorry, do you work here?

Pennsylvania

Overheard by: justwords77

Your Editors Were Shock-G-ed to See How Long Ago That Was

Business analyst on phone: Hey, what do you need? The name of the user guide? It's the digital one… No, the digital guide. You know, like Digital Underground, only without Tupac… No, biggie wasn't in Digital Underground… Humpty Hump was… No, the guy with the gold nose… Okay, it's “h”… “u”… “m”…

Chantilly, Virginia

Overheard by: CubeRat

And Will You Be Faking Your Own Death Today?

Bank teller #1: So what did you do?
Bank teller #2, wearing name tag that says “Sue*”: I told him my name was Kelly and I ran!

Dayton, Ohio

Like Having Five Friends Who Think I'm Cool

Accounting coworker: Nothing gets me hotter than a pivot table with five attributes.

Washington, DC

10AM Pay Renewal Fee

Accounting: You submitted a payment request for a renewal fee.
Peon: Yes.
Accounting: Can you find out how long the renewal term is for?
Peon: It says “annual renewal fee” on the invoice.
Accounting: Yeah, I saw that, but do you know when it’s valid until?
Peon: It says valid from October 31, 2005 on the invoice.
Accounting: Yeah, but can you make sure? You never know it could be for like two years or something.

3700 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California

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