Numbers guy: Wait, where did you get these numbers from?
Boss: Wikipedia.
Numbers guy: We can’t use those numbers!
Boss: Why? Only reliable people post things there so it’s okay to use the numbers in the report to the FDA.
St. Louis, Missouri
Numbers guy: Wait, where did you get these numbers from?
Boss: Wikipedia.
Numbers guy: We can’t use those numbers!
Boss: Why? Only reliable people post things there so it’s okay to use the numbers in the report to the FDA.
St. Louis, Missouri
Man: Hey, do you know what ski-shooting is?
Lady: Ski-shooting?
Man: Yeah… Ski-shooting… Where you shoot at things while you are skiing.
Lady: Do you mean skeet-shooting? They don’t ski and shoot… They shoot at clay disk things.
Man: Oh, is that what it’s called? So they don’t ski while they are shooting?
Lady: No… But when you try it let me know. I want to see that.
St. Louis, Missouri
Woman on phone: So, are we talking about the left-hand chicken, or the one o’clock chicken?
Kansas City, Missouri
Coworker over intercom: It’s been brought to our attention that there is a downed power line in the courtyard. Please avoid it when walking between buildings. [Five minutes later] An addendum to the last message: Please avoid walking between buildings if possible. [Five minutes more, fire alarm going off] Okay everyone, we’re going to evacuate Building One*. Everyone please calmly make your way to Building Two*.
Boss screaming in background: No, no! The other door! Not that way!
5600 Main Street
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: Someone in the other building…
Boss: Jeez Louise, we’re just nailing each other over here!
Kansas City, Missouri
Customer: I know it sounds like my husband drinks too much, but he really doesn’t.
Alcohol-company CSR: Hey, I talk about alcohol all day long. You can’t shock me.
Customer: Well, I write erotica, so I talk about sex all day long!
Alcohol-company CSR: Really?
Customer: Yeah. I just turned in my manuscript today, but it was three weeks late. I keep telling my editor, “I don’t write smut on demand!” But I write very good smut.
800 Market Street
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Easily Entertained
Woman: Oh, Survivor Evening? Is that, like, for people who watch Survivor? Oh, breast cancer…cool!
6710 Clayton Road
Richmond Heights, Missouri
Overheard by: Transient Girl
Worker #1: Look, the window cleaners are here.
Worker #2: Aren’t they freezing? It’s 15 degrees out.
Worker #1: Oh no, the water they’re using is hot.
25800 Northwestern Highway
Southfield, Missouri
Worker: [Bryan]’s sick today; he IMed me and said he needs one of us to come to his house and give him a sponge bath.
1831 Chestnut Street
St. Louis, Missouri
Co-worker: I found three turds this morning. Do we have someone who comes and takes care of that?
2320 West Highway 76
Branson, Missouri
