Coworker: Whoever invented coffee was amazing!!

Lancaster, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: thought God did that?

Bridezilla-to-be on cell in lounge: … Yeah, but, like, his family is just so different than ours, Mom! They’re lower class and aren’t used to spending a lot of money on stuff like that!

Insurance company
Grand Rapids, Michigan

Partner: Fuck that!…Fuck you! I am not cheap! I want what’s rightfully my client’s!

200 Park Avenue
New York, NY

Overheard by: GJG

Very sketchy neighbor to two-year-old: Who gives a fuck about Dora?!


Overheard by: Irritated

Office girl, popping head into cubicle: Hi Jane*!
Jane: Ahhhhhhh! (frightened, ear-piercing scream that goes on for 20 seconds)
Office girl: Sh! Shh! It's me!
Jane: (carries on screaming)

Ad Agency

Overheard by: eM

Office lady, from cubicle: White! (pause) Did you like my answer when I said white? Sometimes it's purple.

Marlborough, Massachusetts

Loud white lady: Seattle was so beautiful… Then I get back here and it's like being in Africa!
Large black man It's not like Africa.
Loud white lady: Well, minus all the black people…

Scottsdale, Arizona

Overheard by: itstooearlyforthis

Co-worker on phone: Well, when I asked you over for lunch I asked if there was something you didn’t eat besides cheese…Well I’m just saying you should have told me you didn’t eat pork when I asked…Yes, I know you’re Jewish…Well whatever you are, you’re an idiot and a liar. You should have told me about the pork…Ew, she’s your first cousin.

622 3rd Avenue
New York, NY

U-Haul guy #1: Okay! Pickup on the right…dropoffs on the left.
U-Haul guy #2: Yeah…Pickups on the left, dropoffs on the right.
U-Haul guy #1: What? No! You’re fucking it up, dickhead!

3270 Broadway
New York, NY

Co-worker: Would you like a donut?
Enormous woman: No, thank you.
Co-worker: Why not? Are you on a diet or something?
Enormous woman: Actually, yes, I am on a diet. I am going on vacation to Hawaii at the end of the month and I have only six more pounds to lose until I reach my goal! I want to take a helicopter ride over Kilauea, but the helicopter company charges $100 more if you weigh more than 200 pounds. Hope they don’t weigh me on the spot since I am not sure I will be less than 200 pounds unless it’s in the morning, after I’ve had a pee, and I’m nude…Does anyone have any topics they’d like to add to the agenda for today?
Manager: Um…yeah, I do, but give me a minute.

560 McCarthy Boulevard
Milpitas, California

Overheard by: CW Slave