Sales

Saleslady to woman: How may I help you?
Woman: Hi, I'm looking for something specific.
(45 seconds of silence)
Saleslady: Aisle 14.

Victor, New York

Overheard by: Yikes!

Sales rep #1: It was supposed to be nice this weekend!
Sales rep #2: Nope.
Sales rep #1: What happened?
Sales rep #2: Reality.

Chantilly, Virginia

Boastful rare coin dealer: Oh, yeah, I sold a piece yesterday–$7,700.
Impressionable cashier girl: Wow… wow!
Boastful rare coin dealer: Day before that, sold a coin for four grand.
Impressionable cashier girl: That's unbelievable. Oh… debit or credit?
Boastful rare coin dealer: Food stamps.

Levittown, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Flynn

Client: Is your service free?
Salesman: No. Well, I guess it could be, but we don't live in the land of lollipops and candy canes.

Provo, Utah

Overheard by: Chris Lumo

Sales #1: There’s lint on your shoulder.
Sales #2: Oh.
Sales #1: Here, I’ll pick it off. Wait, here’s Scotch tape; that works better.
Sales #2: I feel like those monkeys that pick bugs off each other’s heads and backs.

712 South Hacienda Drive
Tempe, Arizona

Obnoxious sales guy: But your product is my back end!

Times Square
New York City, New York

Sales guy #1: I’m worried about the primaries. I mean, if Obama runs, I would vote for him over the Republicans.
Sales guy #2: Sure.
Sales guy #1: If Hillary runs, I would vote for Satan over her.

Bonner Springs, Kansas

Salesguy #1: We have more sweaters on the rack.
Salesguy #2: Hahaha! “Rack”!

Washington, DC

Overheard by: Maggie

Boss: The incentive this month is: the person with the most accounts will get a steak dinner on me. And you can bring your boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever, you don't have to eat alone, I'll pay for them too.
Female sales rep: What if I have like eight boyfriends?
Boss: Well, then you're a whore. I don't know what else to tell you.

Charlotte, North Carolina

Without Conspiracy Theories, TV Would Be Iowa's Only Entertainment

Cheeky sales guy: What about adding fluoride to water..?
Sales lady: Don't do it!
Cheeky sales guy: The Nazis used it.
Sales lady: Stop egging him on!
Sales guy #2: Yeah, the first place it was used was the concentration camps. Adolf Hitler found that it mellowed them out.
Cubicle neighbor: And their teeth looked awesome?
Sales guy #2: No, it has nothing to do with teeth! It's the second most poisonous element. It's used in all kinds of rat poisons.

Marion, Iowa