Very Republican coworker: I have more guns than I know what to do with.
Golden Valley
Minnesota
Female peon: Even if a guy doesn’t like you it’s still nice if you give him a blow job, right?
Male peon: Yeah, that’s nice… That’s reeeal nice… That’s Toys-for-Tots-nice.
1200 Yankee Doodle Road
Eagan, Minnesota
Boss: Hey whackadoo! [pause] Shut the fuck up.
Rochester, Minnesota
Overheard by: Kirby
Coworker to another holding book: Go to the vagina page!
Christmas party
Richfield, Minnesota
Woman to group: Do you any of you know Sally*?
Group members, shaking heads: No
Woman: Just as well, she just quit.
St. Paul, Minnesota
Boss: I need two Excedrin and a Pepsi, stat!
Coworker, trying to be helpful: How about some cheese and nerds?
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Nurse: Is that a paper clip in your hair?
Receptionist: Yeah, I couldn’t find a bobby pin
Nurse: God, you’re such a secretary.
800 East 28th Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: killerboots
Boss: If we don’t start turning things around here so I can get home sooner, I’m going to wind up divorced. And that would be…bad. I think.
6106 Excelsior Boulevard
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Mad Cow
CSR: Customer Service, this is Sheri*. May I have your account number please?
Customer: Why is my account negative?!
CSR: Well, if you give me your account number, I can look it up and go over your transactions with you.
Customer gives information, CSR verifies, and the conversation continues.
CSR: Well, ma’am, looks like your opening deposit on Tuesday was 25 dollars… And then you withdrew 40 dollars from the ATM on Friday.
Customer: And…?
CSR: Well, 25 dollars minus 40 dollars is negative 15 dollars.
Customer: I don’t understand what you are trying to tell me.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Female patient: I just noticed your ID badge. That’s a great picture of you.
Paramedic: Oh, yeah, thank you. You should see my driver’s license photo. I wore a priest’s outfit for that one.
6500 Excelsior Boulevard
St. Louis Park, Minnesota
Overheard by: Rod Backer
