The Classroom

Student to professor: So, the only comment you made on my paper was that I completely missed the point of the assignment… So everything else was okay?

Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
Canadia

First grader #1: Miss D.*, how old are you?
23-year-old Miss D.: Well…
First grader #2: Shhh! Don’t you know you’re not supposed to ask an old lady how old she is?!

Hauppauge, New York

Overheard by: Toni

Poli-Sci professor: John Locke said, ‘In the beginning, all the world was America.’ What did he mean by this?
Student: Continental drift?

University of British Columbia
Canadia

Chemistry student: You know what? Every year I hear about global warming, and then, like, three months later, it gets cold again!
Class: [Stunned silence.]

Parkland High School
Allentown, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Out-Of-Here-In-Six-Months

German teacher: Well, we’re going to have to relocate to another classroom for a while. It seems there’s a rat problem in this one.
Student: Are you going to gas them?

Glenunga International High School
Adelaide, South Australia

Student studying energy, to another: Do you think this a controlled or uncontrolled nuclear erection?

International School of Milan
Milan
Itlay

Girl #1: Um, where is your baby?
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Your baby — where is it?
Girl #2: Shit.
Girl #1: You forgot it, didn’t you? You know those things have computer chips in them that register every time it cries or burps or poops, right? Your grade depends on that chip’s happiness!
Girl #2: Um, I think I left it in my boyfriend’s truck… since Thursday.

Home Economics class, Ironwood High School
Tucson, Arizona

College boy #1: She’s engaged now.
College boy #2: What?!
College boy #1: Yeah, she just got engaged, like, a week ago.
College boy #2: That’s gay.

12th & Q Street
Lincoln, Nebraska

Overheard by: Confused

Male geology TA: So yeah, I had this student in lab today who asked me, ‘So, are these minerals… are these, like, things that can be found, like, out there…? Like, in the real world?’
Female grad student: What? Really?
Male geology TA: Yeah, it just blew his mind that this stuff actually existed in the real world.

Geoscience department, University of Iowa
Iowa City, Iowa

Overheard by: another grad student

Freshman #1: So I talked to my ex-girlfriend from high school this weekend. She’s totally changed and she’s dating this jerkish guy.
Freshman #2: Turkish, or jerk-ish?
Random chick turning around to join conversation: I hate Turkish people.
Freshman #1: Jerkish.

University of Texas
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: thinking she was armenian