Poli-Sci professor: John Locke said, ‘In the beginning, all the world was America.’ What did he mean by this?
Student: Continental drift?
University of British Columbia
Canadia
Poli-Sci professor: John Locke said, ‘In the beginning, all the world was America.’ What did he mean by this?
Student: Continental drift?
University of British Columbia
Canadia
Principal over loudspeaker: We’re looking for someone to give us wood.
4 Robert Holcomb Way
Plainville, Connecticut
Overheard by: for a good cause
Ditzy babe: Mr. Allen*? In the reading last night it said that semen had a high sugar content. Is that right?
Mr. Allen: That’s right.
Ditzy babe: So, does that mean it’s bad for your teeth?
AP Biology class
Rochester, New York
Third grader: Teacher, Tameka* is being nasty.
Teacher: What do you mean?
Third grader: I asked Eric* to use his dictionary, and she started laughing.
Teacher: Which means…?
Third grader: She was thinking something nasty.
Teacher: You mean, you can read her mind?
Third grader: I don’t know how to explain…
Teacher: Did she say anything out loud?
Third grader: No, but she was thinking nasty stuff.
2351 East Redwood Road
Ceres, California
Overheard by: an observing teacher
German teacher: Well, we’re going to have to relocate to another classroom for a while. It seems there’s a rat problem in this one.
Student: Are you going to gas them?
Glenunga International High School
Adelaide, South Australia
High school girl: I’m gonna name a cheese after you, Mr. L.*!
Mr. L.: If you actually had the power to do that, I’d be very flattered.
West Santa Clara Street
Arcadia, California
Overheard by: The Know It All
Teacher #1: I really need a video to show my kids after they finish their final. Do you have one I could borrow?
Teacher #2: Oh? Well, let’s see… What were you thinking about?
Teacher #1: Have anything with angsty kids? Oooh, especially angsty black kids? They love those.
Alabama
Overheard by: Saving the drama for my momma
Teacher: What’s one-fifth of 15?
Class, in unison: Five!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: High school student, appalled
Teacher’s aide: Where did you find the sticky, gooey stuff (Tacky Finger)?
Secretary: In my drawers.
Contour Road
Gaithersburg, Maryland
History professor after a long explanation: But I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about, though.
University of Tulsa, 600 South College Avenue
Tulsa, Oklahoma
