Professor: It smells like fall, doesn’t it?
Student: It smells like depressing cold and the inevitable onset of winter.
Brandeis University
Waltham, Massachusetts
Overheard by: I didn’t smell anything
Professor: It smells like fall, doesn’t it?
Student: It smells like depressing cold and the inevitable onset of winter.
Brandeis University
Waltham, Massachusetts
Overheard by: I didn’t smell anything
Economics professor: Kick me in the rear. I like it.
University of Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: my attention span is price inelastic
Teacher: Scott*, can you give the next answer?
Student: Religion is the belief in a supernatural and the relationship with this being.
Teacher: Could you please speak normally next time?
Student: I am.
All Saints High School
Whitby, Ontario
Teacher #1: I can’t teach this kid anymore.
Teacher #2: Why?
Teacher #1: He can’t keep his hands out of his pants.
Teacher #2: So?
Teacher #1: Look, do I have to spell it out? He doesn’t know the difference between shit and food.
Teacher #2: Oh my god, I’m gonna barf.
Teacher #1: Not around this kid. He might thinks it’s a snack.
3035 Desert Marigold Lane
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: don’t want to eat the food
Teacher: “Uncertain.” What does “uncertain” mean?
7-Year-Old boy: Like you’re not sure about it?
Teacher: Good! What’s an example of something you’re uncertain about?
7-Year-Old boy, after thinking for a moment: God.
1554 Sepulveda Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Co-Worker: I sent out the class rosters for summer term to all the faculty and got an e-mail back from one guy wanting to know why he can’t find his name on the list. Because it’s the list of his students! How did he get to be a teacher!?
1400 Penn Avenue
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: The Temp
Teacher: That’s an interesting name. It is a type of flower right?
Student: Yeah, but I am a hard flower. I am so tough, I am almost a weed.
1001 SW Avenue M
Belle Glade, Florida
Overheard by: substitute
Instructor: My entire pedagogical technique is based on James Bond.
700 Royal Avenue
New Westminster, British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: SarahSideEffect
Professor: A “letter of intent”? Whaddya mean, “intent”? I intend on getting myself a sweet little girlfriend like [Nick] has; is that what you mean by “intent”? Get a Korean girlfriend on the side?
San 69-1
Churye 2-dong, Sasang-gu
Busan City, South Korea
Vice Principal: Hey there, did you get my email?
Teacher: No, I didn’t…
Vice Principal: Wow, and I sent it to both [Ed Hildick]s so you’d be sure to get it.
Teacher: Yeah…but my name is [Jeff].
901 Locust Street
Herndon, Virginia
