1PM Lunch

Boss: Where did that report go? I have a meeting in less than ten minutes! Where did you put that report?…I just had it! Why do you keep hiding things on me?
Secretary: Look in your briefcase.
Boss: It’s not in my briefcase! I just looked in it! Why would it be in my briefcase?
Secretary: Because you just put it in there, dumbass.
Boss: No, I didn’t! I would know if it’s in my briefcase!
Secretary: You sure?
Boss: Yes! I’m positive! I know it’s not…Oh, here it is.
Secretary: And where was it…?
Boss: In my briefcase.
Secretary: Dumbass…go to your meeting and stop bugging me.
Boss: I have to buy you lunch again, don’t I?
Secretary: Yep. And don’t even think that Burger King is going to cut it this time.

One Penn Plaza
New York, NY

Overheard by: mshorty

Posted on February 20, 2023
Bosses and Underlings, Dumb Bosses, General Idiocy, Gripes, Insults, Meals and Snacks, New York, Questions, Receptionists, Smart Employees

3PM Coffee Break

Receptionist: So this guy calls for [Kyle]…I give him the voice mail. I knew the next ring would be him…he calls back. “I’m trying to get ahold of [Kyle] and I keep getting an answer machine.”…Gah!…That’s what happens when we pay 10K for a phone
system so people get their messages. So then the prick is like, “So is he there or isn’t he?” And so I’m like, “Yes sir, I realize
that you keep getting his voicemail. He is with a client, and all
messages go straight to our agents via voicemail.” And he’s like,
“Well, I don’t want to leave a damn message, you tell [him and
his wife] they just lost out on a sale! I guess they’re too busy
for me!” So then I’m all kiss-ass and like, “Well, I’m sorry sir, they are both with clients at the moment. We are a busy office. Would you like me to take a message?” And then he tells me, “No, just never mind and it’s their loss.” I hate stupid people.
Assistant: Some people are like Slinkies: not really good for
anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push
them down a flight of stairs.

M-28 East
Munising, Michigan

Posted on February 16, 2023
General Idiocy, Gripes, Michigan, Money, Receptionists, Technology

Behind the Flowering Ficus

Patient: Where’s the bathroom?
Receptionist: On your way out, you can just go in that corner.

Dentist’s Office
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Avoiding the corner

Posted on January 18, 2023
Canadia, Default, Health & Hygiene, Medical, Offers and requests, Patients, Questions, Receptionists, Weirdness

Okay Fine, It Was Paperwork, Okay?

Delivery guy: When I got out of the Air Force I thought I was done with paperwork, but it looks like I’m destined to do paperwork.
Receptionist, uninterested: Oh, really?
Delivery guy: Yeah, but most of my time in the Air Force I can’t talk about.
Receptionist: Uh-huh.
Delivery guy: It’s top secret stuff.
Receptionist: Oh, okay.
Delivery guy: Can’t talk about it.
Receptionist: So don’t.

Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Waby

Posted on January 3, 2023
Insults, Receptionists, Texas

If a Fax Falls in a Forest…

Secretary: If we fax something to someone, and our machine is out of ink, will they still get it?

Albuquerque, New Mexico

Overheard by: Reception

Posted on December 29, 2022
General Idiocy, New Mexico, Questions, Receptionists, Technology

North, by God, America!

Paralegal: Well, Montreal is technically in America.

Design Center Place
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: umm … really?

Posted on November 4, 2022
Default, Design and Editorial, General Idiocy, Geography & History, Massachusetts, Receptionists

But Aren’t We Scheduled to Exchange Briefs and Deliver Oral Arguments?

Office Assistant: If I go back to the phone without an answer this guy is going to eat me out.
Manager: I think you mean chew you out.

1125 Colonel Drive
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada

Overheard by: WOW @ CU

Posted on October 31, 2022
Bosses, Canadia, General Idiocy, Gripes, Receptionists, Sexuality, Words

2PM Follow Up with HR

Secretary: I could swear that I read that if you have a death in the family you automatically get two days off.
Nurse: Well, I looked it up in the protocol. You can have days off, but they’re just regular PTO.
Secretary: Right, I know they’re PTO, but I swear I read that they’re automatic if you have a death in the family.
Nurse: No, it’s like any other PTO, you have to have them approved by your supervisor.
Secretary: I swear I read that you get those days off for a family death.
Nurse: Well, I’m sure every supervisor would be happy to quickly approve your PTO if someone dies.
Secretary: Yeah, but I swear I read somewhere that you get two days automatically for that.
Nurse: Please, tell me one more time about how you read that somewhere.

Medical Center Boulevard
Winston-Salem, North Carolina

Posted on October 15, 2022
Death, General Idiocy, Medical, North Carolina, Nurses, Receptionists, Time Management

When Normally We Schedule Him for Wednesdays

Older partner to receptionist: See you later, we're going to meet this banker.
Middle-aged partner, to older partner as they walk out the door: What? Oh, “banker.” I thought you said “the spanker.”

New York City, New York

Overheard by: Jen

Posted on October 1, 2022
Bosses, New York, Receptionists, Sexuality, Weirdness, Words

There's a Pill in Every Office…

Crazed, frazzled receptionist, yelling: A little Vicodin goes a long way!

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: EMCEE

Posted on August 30, 2022
Health & Hygiene, New York, Receptionists, Weirdness

Receptionists