Patient: Where’s the bathroom?
Receptionist: On your way out, you can just go in that corner.

Dentist’s Office
Ottawa, Ontario

Overheard by: Avoiding the corner

Delivery guy: When I got out of the Air Force I thought I was done with paperwork, but it looks like I’m destined to do paperwork.
Receptionist, uninterested: Oh, really?
Delivery guy: Yeah, but most of my time in the Air Force I can’t talk about.
Receptionist: Uh-huh.
Delivery guy: It’s top secret stuff.
Receptionist: Oh, okay.
Delivery guy: Can’t talk about it.
Receptionist: So don’t.

Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Waby

Secretary: If we fax something to someone, and our machine is out of ink, will they still get it?

Albuquerque, New Mexico

Overheard by: Reception

Paralegal: Well, Montreal is technically in America.

Design Center Place
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: umm … really?

Office Assistant: If I go back to the phone without an answer this guy is going to eat me out.
Manager: I think you mean chew you out.

1125 Colonel Drive
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada

Overheard by: WOW @ CU

Secretary: I could swear that I read that if you have a death in the family you automatically get two days off.
Nurse: Well, I looked it up in the protocol. You can have days off, but they’re just regular PTO.
Secretary: Right, I know they’re PTO, but I swear I read that they’re automatic if you have a death in the family.
Nurse: No, it’s like any other PTO, you have to have them approved by your supervisor.
Secretary: I swear I read that you get those days off for a family death.
Nurse: Well, I’m sure every supervisor would be happy to quickly approve your PTO if someone dies.
Secretary: Yeah, but I swear I read somewhere that you get two days automatically for that.
Nurse: Please, tell me one more time about how you read that somewhere.

Medical Center Boulevard
Winston-Salem, North Carolina

Older partner to receptionist: See you later, we're going to meet this banker.
Middle-aged partner, to older partner as they walk out the door: What? Oh, “banker.” I thought you said “the spanker.”

New York City, New York

Overheard by: Jen

Crazed, frazzled receptionist, yelling: A little Vicodin goes a long way!

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: EMCEE

Receptionist: You know He-Man and how when he lifts his sword he gets a sudden jolt of steroids?
Stylist: Yeah.
Receptionist: Well, wouldn’t it be awesome if I could lift the broom and become a broom god?!
Stylist: Um, no.

Barber shop
Noblesville, Indiana

Helper: You’re wonderful — like a pie face.
Receptionist: Like a pie face? Wonderful people are like pie faces?
Helper: Um, obviously you don’t understand I have my own language.
Receptionist: … Well, then what’s a pizza foot?
Helper: Look, you can’t just be making things up!

4601 Spicewood Springs Road
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Nator