Receptionist: Thank you for calling Widgets Inc.* How may I help you?
Customer: I got a letter from my insurance company telling me to fill out a paper with my social security number on it and send it to you. Who are you?
Receptionist: We work with the government to help you with your appeal.
Customer: Oh. So you won’t be selling my social security number to anybody in Nigeria?
Receptionist: No, sir, not today.
50 Square Drive
Rochester, New York
Overheard by: We’ll sell it tomorrow
Executive: Is it okay if I take the intern with me to the meeting tomorrow?
Assistant: Sure.
Executive: Are you the person I ask about that?
Assistant: No.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Not the person either
Assistant: Do I need to do anything with this e-mail to Karen*?
Sales guy: No.
Assistant: Okay, I’m going to just drop it over into her folder and move on.
Sales guy: Okay, that’s up to you.
Assistant: I save everything.
Sales guy: I like to delete. If I know you’ve saved it, I just delete it.
Assistant: Yeah, but what if my computer bursts into flames? Or what if I quit?
Sales guy: You? Quit? [laughs]Assistant: You shouldn’t laugh…
Sales guy: Oh.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Receptionist: Hello, Ruddman* Media International…Excuse me? A heat index? I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re talking about…Ruddman Media International…No, no this is not the weather channel.
3 Park Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Why do I work here?
Clerk, watching two inexperienced clerks trying to help each other: That’s like the dog leading the blind.
South Lamar Street
Roxboro, North Carolina
Overheard by: Dun Ben Ther
Receptionist: I thought she was going to tell me I was fat…but, no, she just wanted to tell me that I smell bad.
Andover Park West
Tukwila, Washington
Manager: Ok, I don’t mean to sound weird, but…
Receptionist #1: Oh, this is gonna be good.
Manager: I was at Starbucks on the 4th of July, and…it was all Asians! It was an Asian invasion! They were everywhere! I was going to ask if they were having a family reunion. Then someone else walked in the door, and [my 14-year-old daughter] nudged me, and it was another Asian! I’ve told [my daughter], “Ok, you can marry a Muslim! A black! A Jew! Just don’t bring home an Asian!” They travel in packs and take pictures! And they are the worst drivers! Any time you see a bad driver swerving, weaving in and out of lanes? Asian! But, I mean, my tennis partner is Asian, so…
Receptionist #1: Becky*, you’re a racist!
Manager: I’m not a racist…just to Asians!
An Asian client walks in.
Receptionist #2: Hi, Mr. Wong*!
4020 NE 55th Street
Seattle, Washington
Secretary: Put it in! Put it in! Faster, c’mon! I can’t take it, put it in! [Giggles]Worker: Ready? Here we go. [Excessive grunting]Secretary: Oh yeah, that feels great! Oh, yes.
Boss walks by. Looks in office.
Boss: What the hell is going on here?
Secretary: He just put the air conditioner in!
2000 Peel Street
Montreal, Quebec
Overheard by: Monika
Assistant: Did anyone order anything from Nuclear?
Sales guy: From who?
Assistant: Nuclear. N-U-C-O-R.
Sales girl: Nucor?
Assistant: Um, yeah. Ha ha ha. Sorry.
Sales guy: Yeah, you’re missing a few letters there.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Admin: Do you know who dropped this off?
Manceptionist: No
Admin: Well, then do you know what they looked like?
Manceptionist: An old white lady with curly hair.
Admin: Are you sure she wasn’t a black man, because Allan* said it was a forty-year-old black guy.
Office manager: Not unless he rolled himself in baby powder before he came in here.
Manceptionist: No. The black guy dropped off a manilla envelope and the old lady dropped off that.
Admin: This is a manilla envelope.
Manceptionist: Oh, then yeah the black guy dropped it off.
Allan: Well the black guy was definitely more attractive.
Office manager: And now we know which way you swing.
3520 Lancaster Avenue
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
