Peon #1: Those Jordanians are really teed off.
Peon #2: Is that even a word?
9115 Harris Corners Parkway
Charlotte, North Carolina
Boss: Did you hear about the terrorist attacks in Jordan?
Secretary: Um, yes; a suicide bomber killed hundreds of people at a wedding.
Boss: You see, you shouldn’t attend so many weddings. The odds are against you.
10550 North Torrey Pines Road
La Jolla, California
Receptionist on phone: …And you sure you don’t have the ISBN?…Oh, you do? You’re delicious!
1230 6th Avenue
New York, NY
Banker: You can’t leave your coffee cup on the edge of my desk. A client almost drank out of it today.
Secretary: You know you want to lick my rim.
2 South Main Street
Youngstown, Ohio
Client on phone: May I talk to Mr. Ackerman*, please?
Receptionist: I’m sorry, but Mr. Ackerman doesn’t work here anymore. Would you like to leave a message?
Toledo, Ohio
Overheard by: jullylully
Manager: It is important that you put any call through to me today — my mother-in-law is dying.
Receptionist: Is she okay?
Manager: No, she’s dying.
Davey Street
Hobart
Australia
65-something delivery man to 30-something female receptionist, as she bends over to lift printer:
Oh, wait, let me do that. I don't want you to hurt your ovaries.
Denver, Colorado
Teen girl, holding a bag with a dead bird inside: My grandfather called earlier about getting this bird checked for West Nile virus. He found it in his yard.
Office clerk: Ok, I remember talking to him this morning. I need to get some information from you first. Now, what was his name?
The girl’s eyes get big, and she looks at the bag.
Office clerk: No, not the bird’s name. I need to know your grandfather’s name.
616 Court Street
Oberlin, Louisiana
Overheard by: Vicky
Receptionist: Hello! Thank you for calling Avon Safety*, where safety comes first. How may I direct your call?
Voice #1: How do I direct the call?
Voice #2: [indecipherable]Voice #1: I don’t know. That’s all it says…
Receptionist: Hello? This is not a recording.
Voice #1: She said it’s a recording.
Receptionist: No! This is not a recording! Hello?
Voice #1: What do I do?
Voice #2: Hang up.
Avon, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Fae
Secretary #1: Everything tomorrow is going to be great but it won’t be good coming in, especially if someone spills their load all over.
Secretary #2: Yeah really, that only causes more problems.
75 Great Valley Parkway
Malvern, Pennsylvania
Patient: Do you offer any discounts if this is my second surgery?
Receptionist: Sure, we can throw in a free appendectomy or colonoscopy… Your choice.
Orange Avenue
Orlando, Florida
