Receptionists

1PM Run Errands

Receptionist: Argh! My arm is so itchy. I’m, like, allergic to work!
Co-worker: Stop scratching; you are making it worse! At lunch, go
and get an antihistamine to stop the swelling.
Receptionist: Antihistamine or antiinflammatory? I think it’s
inflamed. What’s the difference anyway?
Co-worker: Antihistamine is something that is not histamine, and
antiinflammatory is something that’s not inflammatory.
Receptionist: So I’ll ask the chemist?

25 Parramatta Road
Underwood, Queensland
Australia

11AM Return to Construction Site

Clerk: It actually hurts talking to you.
Receptionist: Hey, it hurts talking to you, sometimes. You use big words too much.
Clerk: Go away, I’ve hit my stupid quotient for the day.
Manager: You are so mean to her.

10 Miles South of Battle Mountain
Battle Mountain, Nevada

10AM Guest Presentation

Receptionist: [Steve], I thought about you today when the speaker started talking about anal sex.

1000 Hilltop Circle
Catonsville, Maryland

3PM At the Water Cooler

Peon #1: Those Jordanians are really teed off.
Peon #2: Is that even a word?

9115 Harris Corners Parkway
Charlotte, North Carolina

Boss: Did you hear about the terrorist attacks in Jordan?
Secretary: Um, yes; a suicide bomber killed hundreds of people at a wedding.
Boss: You see, you shouldn’t attend so many weddings. The odds are against you.

10550 North Torrey Pines Road
La Jolla, California

3PM Order Books

Receptionist on phone: …And you sure you don’t have the ISBN?…Oh, you do? You’re delicious!

1230 6th Avenue
New York, NY

3PM Coffee Break

Banker: You can’t leave your coffee cup on the edge of my desk. A client almost drank out of it today.
Secretary: You know you want to lick my rim.

2 South Main Street
Youngstown, Ohio

Yes, Ask Him Why He Never Returns My Calls

Client on phone: May I talk to Mr. Ackerman*, please?
Receptionist: I’m sorry, but Mr. Ackerman doesn’t work here anymore. Would you like to leave a message?

Toledo, Ohio

Overheard by: jullylully

Receptionists Have a Limited Ability to Extrapolate

Manager: It is important that you put any call through to me today — my mother-in-law is dying.
Receptionist: Is she okay?
Manager: No, she’s dying.

Davey Street
Hobart
Australia

Chivalrous or Sexist? Discuss.

65-something delivery man to 30-something female receptionist, as she bends over to lift printer:
Oh, wait, let me do that. I don't want you to hurt your ovaries.

Denver, Colorado

Oh, Okay. Tweetie.

Teen girl, holding a bag with a dead bird inside: My grandfather called earlier about getting this bird checked for West Nile virus. He found it in his yard.
Office clerk: Ok, I remember talking to him this morning. I need to get some information from you first. Now, what was his name?

The girl’s eyes get big, and she looks at the bag.

Office clerk: No, not the bird’s name. I need to know your grandfather’s name.

616 Court Street
Oberlin, Louisiana

Overheard by: Vicky

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