Nurse exiting patient’s room: I can’t find my vagina.
Princeton, New Jersey
Overheard by: chippy
Nurse exiting patient’s room: I can’t find my vagina.
Princeton, New Jersey
Overheard by: chippy
Boss: I hate rubbing my hands on that while I’m banging away, so I cover all of the crevices with tape.
Portland, Oregon
Male coworker wearing striped shirt: Hey, nice shirt — we match!
Female coworker: Oh, yeah, we do.
Male coworker: We could do a dance or something. We already have matching costumes.
Female coworker: Or we could strip!
Male coworker: [Laughs nervously and walks away.]
Massachusetts
Receptionist: Thank you for calling ABC Company*. How may I assist you?
Caller: Is Bob*, Tom*, or Larry* available?
Receptionist: Yes, sir, all three are available. Do you have a preference?
Caller: Sexual?
Receptionist: [Long, awkward silence.] No, sir, I meant do you have a preference for who you’d like to speak to?
Caller: Um… Just pick whoever’s cutest and makes more money.
Receptionist: Ummm… Okay… It’s a pleasure to connect you…
16th Street and L Street NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: I can’t believe I work here…
Lady: Hey, Derek*, will you let me paint your toenails?
Man: Will you give me a blowjob?
Lady: … Sure.
Man: Do the blowjob first.
3301 North Mulford Road
Rockford, Illinois
Overheard by: what office is this?
Coworker in middle of parking lot, screaming into cell: You can admit to having your dick in my ass, but you can’t admit to that bitch you love me?! You bastard!
Alpharetta, Georgia
Peon: Wow! I wouldn’t sit on that even if its mouth was taped shut.
9070 Junction Drive
Annapolis Junction, Maryland
Boss to another: Do not look up Care Bear porn!
1440 South Clearview Avenue
Mesa, Arizona
Male worker on way to LGBT conference: I can’t believe we have to go learn about butch dykes — I think I know a lesbo when I see one.
Female worker: You should be careful what you say around here.
Male worker: Don’t get mad at me just because you’ve had a raspberry mustache one too many times.
Female worker: excuse me?
Male worker: Don’t lie — I know you’ve been down river when the dam broke.
Female worker: Uh…
52 South Main Street
Fall River, Massachusetts
Overheard by: bobby
Over-zealous professor talking about tribal genital mutilation: … So the viewers experienced more stress when they watched the people getting their genitals whacked off! They got whacked off!
University of Arizona
Tucson, Arizona
