Possible Sexual Harassment

Coworker: If you’re gonna do it, do it hard so I can’t breathe.

113 East Carroll Street
Salisbury, Maryland

Boss: Wait, what’s ‘fornication’? I don’t know that word. Is it like fighting?
Coworker: Uh, no. It’s like sex.

Roselle, Illinois

Overheard by: my vocabulary is better than yours

Boss: Can I see your boobs today?
Underling: Now would be a good time to put in my two weeks.

950 Eller Drive
Fort Lauderdale, Florida

Male coworker: It’s funny, but my son is too embarrassed to buy condoms, so he just has anal sex with his girlfriend.
Female coworker: That’s a good idea.

Yellowknife, Northwest Territories
British Columbia
Canadia

Overheard by: Stinky Pinky

Guy: That’s because you broke it!
Hot blonde: I know, I totally put it in the wrong hole.
Guy: You should be more careful.
Hot blonde: I added more liquid, but I get no smoke.
Guy: Did you make sure to re-insert the thingie?

80 Grasslands Avenue
Elmsford, New York

Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief

Employee: This filter prevents more orgasms from getting into your drinking water than any other filter on the market!
Customer giggling: Uh-huh…

384 Placerville Drive
Placerville, California

Old maid boss: Do you have a boner over there?
Young male worker, confused: I’m sorry, what?
Old maid boss: A boner. For folding paper [holds up knife]. Do you have one?
Young male worker: How can you seriously be calling it that? I know you know what that means.
Old maid boss: No, I know you need one if you don’t have one. I’ll get another one.
Young male worker: I know you know what that means. I know you know what that means. I don’t want anything to do with it.

6101 O’Connell Avenue
Colorado Springs, Colorado

Overheard by: TK

Office chick #1: Hey, I like your shoes. Are they new?
Office chick #2: Thanks. I’ve had them for a while. I just haven’t been wearing them.
Office chick #1: They’re kind of low cut.
Office dude: Yeah, I can see a lot of arch. If this was the middle east, I’d totally be raping you right now.

Rancho Cordova, California

Overheard by: Good thing we’re in Cali.

Boss: You like that little tool, don't you?
Worker: The keyboard? Yeah, it's great.

Uniontown, Ohio

Office manager: Did you see that episode of South Park where they were talking about a camel toe?
Sales assistant: Ooh, lay off the camel toes! I have one. One of my toes is longer than the other and I hate wearing sandals.
[room bursts into snickers] Sales assistant: What?? Quit making fun of my toes!

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina