Suit #1 with backpack: I’ll just be a minute — I gotta go to the men’s room to take a squirt.
Suit #2: Want me to hold your bag while you go?
Suit #1: I hope nobody heard that.
32nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Suit #1 with backpack: I’ll just be a minute — I gotta go to the men’s room to take a squirt.
Suit #2: Want me to hold your bag while you go?
Suit #1: I hope nobody heard that.
32nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Old lady coworker: Toys? Yeah, I still play with toys. I have heaps of toys.
Old guy coworker: Yes, I love toys, too. Toys, toys, toys. Toys without the boys.
Old lady coworker: What?
Old guy coworker: What? What are you talking about?
Bourke Street
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Jay Blue
Boss’s wife: Is he talking about having a harem again?
3400 North Charles Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Middle-aged secretary #1: Stuart* just farted in my ear. He was standing next to me when I was sitting at my desk, and he fucking farted in my ear!
Middle-aged secretary #2: Ew. I’ve been known to let one slip myself. And the pussy farts are the worst, because you can’t control them.
Middle-aged secretary #1: I see we’re keeping it real.
Law firm
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: ginny
Third grader: Teacher, Tameka* is being nasty.
Teacher: What do you mean?
Third grader: I asked Eric* to use his dictionary, and she started laughing.
Teacher: Which means…?
Third grader: She was thinking something nasty.
Teacher: You mean, you can read her mind?
Third grader: I don’t know how to explain…
Teacher: Did she say anything out loud?
Third grader: No, but she was thinking nasty stuff.
2351 East Redwood Road
Ceres, California
Overheard by: an observing teacher
Sales guy on phone: An inch and a half between the legs? … Yeah, that sounds pretty big for that size rod. … Are you standing it up like a horseshoe and measuring it? … Okay, let me get you some prices and call back.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Overheard by: It’s a fastener thing.. you wouldn’t understand
TA: Okay, I want you all to close your eyes and imagine a woman. Now, what does she look like? Give me features.
Student #1: She has dark hair.
TA: Okay, good. Anything else?
Student #2, enthusiastically: She’s naked!
301 Heller Drive
Santa Cruz, California
Intercom: Please remember to leave all distinguished butts in the can behind the south building.
14255 49th Street North
Clearwater, Florida
Secretary: Does your vagina ever get so dry that it twitches?
Passing associate: Uh…
Portland, Oregon
20-something guy whispering to 20-something girl: … And I’m not saying this from personal experience, ’cause I’ve never actually had a blowjob…
400 N Capitol Street
Washington, DC
