Supervisor: It’s too bad our schedules are getting so full. It used to be that whenever someone needed to get off, someone else could put out for them.
666 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: The happy new guy in the office
Supervisor: It’s too bad our schedules are getting so full. It used to be that whenever someone needed to get off, someone else could put out for them.
666 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: The happy new guy in the office
Hung-over guy on cell: I’m telling you, I didn’t rape her! She said we could have sex, right before she passed out.
On way to class
Virginia
Overheard by: I wanted to follow him and keep listening
Trainee: My boyfriend likes this perfume. He says it smells like the inside of a clean woman.
Training class, Cosmetic company
California
Consultant: Pedophiles? Is that my cue?
175 South 3rd Street
Columbus, Ohio
Worker bee #1: FYI, dude, don’t email the CEO on things that don’t concern you. I was already handling that with Dick.
Worker bee #2: I’m sorry, did something happen?
Worker bee #1: Yeah, he flipped out! You just missed my ass getting totally reamed out by Dick! [Long pause.] Did I just say what I thi–
Worker bee #2: –Yeah, you did.
Worker bee #1: Fuck! I’m calling him Richard from now on!
Tysons Corner, Virginia
Male law student #1: In chambers the judge said that as soon as those guys get to prison somebody is going to make them their bitch.
Male law student #2: So he said they’d pretty much be full-on ass-raped? Just like that?
Male law student #1: Yeah, pretty much.
Male law student #2: God, that’d be horrible.
Female law student #1: Unless you were gay. Then it’d be like heaven!
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Attaboy Finch
Girl employee: Ouch.
Guy employee: Oh, sorry. Okay, it’s not going to work from the front, let’s try it from behind.
14225 Newbrook Drive
Chantilly, Virginia
Lady: Does your massage therapist work through knots well?
Guy: Yeah, and she even has this jackhammer apparatus to do your butt with.
400 West Capitol
Little Rock, Arkansas
Overheard by: Sounds Scary!
Principal over loudspeaker: We’re looking for someone to give us wood.
4 Robert Holcomb Way
Plainville, Connecticut
Overheard by: for a good cause
Ditzy babe: Mr. Allen*? In the reading last night it said that semen had a high sugar content. Is that right?
Mr. Allen: That’s right.
Ditzy babe: So, does that mean it’s bad for your teeth?
AP Biology class
Rochester, New York
