Boss to another: Do not look up Care Bear porn!
1440 South Clearview Avenue
Mesa, Arizona
Boss to another: Do not look up Care Bear porn!
1440 South Clearview Avenue
Mesa, Arizona
Over-zealous professor talking about tribal genital mutilation: … So the viewers experienced more stress when they watched the people getting their genitals whacked off! They got whacked off!
University of Arizona
Tucson, Arizona
Writer: So, if I get the new position I’ll be your boss.
Designer: That’s what I hear.
Writer: I could be all… pimp-slapping you if you got out of line. Or, like, assigning you all kinds of work while I’m laying on the beach drinking one percent milk.
Designer: With that raise you could be drinking whole milk!
16340 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
Angry customer: [Inaudible over phone.]Employee: I apologize, sir. I understand your frusteration.
Angry customer: Why do you keep calling me ‘sir’?
Employee: Oh! Ma’am. I apologize.
Scottsdale, Arizona
Girl #1: Um, where is your baby?
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Your baby — where is it?
Girl #2: Shit.
Girl #1: You forgot it, didn’t you? You know those things have computer chips in them that register every time it cries or burps or poops, right? Your grade depends on that chip’s happiness!
Girl #2: Um, I think I left it in my boyfriend’s truck… since Thursday.
Home Economics class, Ironwood High School
Tucson, Arizona
Announcer on PA system: Dr. Stewart*, please call 5-5-2-0; Dr. Stewart, 5-5-2-0.
Dr. Stewart, over the PA system a few minutes later: Whomever needed Dr. Stewart, I don’t know who you are and I didn’t hear that number, so call me at– [pause]. Oh, shit, I don’t know what number this is. Wait… Okay, so just page me again with that number… [Pause] You mean everyone can hear me? Fuck.
Arizona
Overheard by: Seriously glad I’m not his patient
Barista: What are you going to do when you grow up?
Little girl: Doctor.
Barista: You want to be a doctor? That’s wonderful!
Little girl: No. Mommy told me to marry doctor and have kids. I want 27!
Ft Valley Road
Flagstaff, Arizona
Marketing Director: There’s one student there I’d love to get a photo of. She’s drop dead gorgeous and hardly ever wears clothes.
16340 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, AZ
Guy on the phone: Yeah, so I’ll just eat a light dinner and when we get there we can share a cowboy… Oh yeah, that sounds much better!
Tucson, AZ
Girl: Hey, Pete*, are you feeling smart today?
Guy #1: Maybe, why?
Girl: Do you know if Korea is a separate country, or is it, like, part of China or Japan?
Guy #1: I have no idea. Why do you need to know?
Girl: I’m trying to look up UPS rates for Korea, but I can’t find Korea.
Guy #1: Troy*!
Guy #2: Yes?
Guy #1: Is Korea a separate country from China or Japan?
Guy #2: Yes.
Girl: OK, well, I can’t find it on the drop-down. Is it called something else?
Guy #2: Republic of Korea?
Girl: No.
Guy #2: South Korea?
Girl: Oh… OK, there it is!
Phoenix, Arizona
