Or Is It?

Product development guy: I just got an e-mail in Chinese… What do I do?
Product development gal: Just copy/paste it into Microsoft Word and change the font.
Product development guy: It's Chinese, not Wingdings.

Queens, New York

Posted on May 5, 2019
Coworkers, General Idiocy, Language barrier, New York, Questions, Technology, Writers and Editors

I Totally Would've Said You Were Five-and-a-Half, at Best

Editor: This story is too long. We've got to whack off about eight inches here.

Modesto, California

Posted on April 15, 2019
Body Parts, California, Sexuality, Writers and Editors

I Was Thinking More in Terms Of Using It As Toilet Paper

Editor to writer: Do you want to talk about your cover story submission?
Writer: Not really.
Editor: Well, there are a couple of techniques we could use to improve it.
Writer: Is one of them leaving it the hell alone?

Augusta, Georgia

Posted on March 29, 2019
Advice, Comebacks, Georgia, Offers and requests, Places, Publishing, Questions, Writers and Editors

Do You Really Think Colonel Mustard Would Do That?

Assistant editor: She said she’s going to come over and hit you in the head with a pretzel.

1633 Broadway
New York, New York

Posted on February 5, 2019
Gossip, New York, Threats, Writers and Editors

Or Are You Still Pounding It Out?

Editor to legal reporter: Did you write the story about whether sex was a major life activity?

Crystal City, Virginia

Posted on February 1, 2019
Default, Questions, Sexuality, Time Management, Virginia, Writers and Editors

You Seem to Be Missing My Point Deliberately

Senior editor: I know! I could sue the company. I injured my toenail at a company event. What do you think loss of a toenail is worth?
Writer: I don't know. See what they're selling for on eBay.

Renton, Washington

Posted on December 29, 2018
Advice, Body Parts, Coworkers, Default, Health & Hygiene, Internet, Money, Questions, Washington, Writers and Editors

What Does He Think the Mad Cows Eat?

Editor, looking at ad for “Summer Garden Madness”: Why is everything “madness”? There’s nothing “madness” about a basket of vegetables.

2 Penn Plaza
New York, New York

Overheard by: angry carrot

Posted on November 28, 2018
Lies, New York, Questions, Words, Writers and Editors

Those Team-Building Exercises Are Really Paying Off

Editor-in-chief to opinion editor: Liberal and short. If I had to describe you in two words, that’d be it. Well, only if I couldn’t use the word ‘bitch.’

Newsroom, Oklahoma State University-Stillwater
Stillwater, Oklahoma

Overheard by: The Opinionator