Sub-editor: Hi, Ed*!
Designer: Hi, Jack*! I’ll try not to cut myself when you’re talking to me this time.
Australia
Sub-editor: Hi, Ed*!
Designer: Hi, Jack*! I’ll try not to cut myself when you’re talking to me this time.
Australia
Designer: I can’t find a photo to represent personal trainers. The only stock images we have are too creepy. Look kind of like an after-school special.
Writer: Like a molesting-kids after-school special? Or the kind about bulimia?
Designer: A cross between those and the ones about steroids.
Creative director: Oh. That sounds OK. Use whatever you guys have.
16340 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
Art Director: We had another “captain literal” sighting in a client
meeting today. People are stupid.
Copywriter: Be less creative. It always works for me.
930 S. Calhoun Street
Fort Wayne, Indiana
Proofreader: I have a totally exciting life . . . I think it’s why I eat so much candy.
140 East 45th Street
New York, New York
Product development guy: I just got an e-mail in Chinese… What do I do?
Product development gal: Just copy/paste it into Microsoft Word and change the font.
Product development guy: It's Chinese, not Wingdings.
Queens, New York
Editor: This story is too long. We've got to whack off about eight inches here.
Modesto, California
Editor to writer: Do you want to talk about your cover story submission?
Writer: Not really.
Editor: Well, there are a couple of techniques we could use to improve it.
Writer: Is one of them leaving it the hell alone?
Augusta, Georgia
Assistant editor: She said she’s going to come over and hit you in the head with a pretzel.
1633 Broadway
New York, New York
Editor to legal reporter: Did you write the story about whether sex was a major life activity?
Crystal City, Virginia
Senior editor: I know! I could sue the company. I injured my toenail at a company event. What do you think loss of a toenail is worth?
Writer: I don't know. See what they're selling for on eBay.
Renton, Washington
