Editor to writer: Do you want to talk about your cover story submission?
Writer: Not really.
Editor: Well, there are a couple of techniques we could use to improve it.
Writer: Is one of them leaving it the hell alone?
Augusta, Georgia
Editor to writer: Do you want to talk about your cover story submission?
Writer: Not really.
Editor: Well, there are a couple of techniques we could use to improve it.
Writer: Is one of them leaving it the hell alone?
Augusta, Georgia
Assistant editor: She said she’s going to come over and hit you in the head with a pretzel.
1633 Broadway
New York, New York
Editor to legal reporter: Did you write the story about whether sex was a major life activity?
Crystal City, Virginia
Senior editor: I know! I could sue the company. I injured my toenail at a company event. What do you think loss of a toenail is worth?
Writer: I don't know. See what they're selling for on eBay.
Renton, Washington
Editor, looking at ad for “Summer Garden Madness”: Why is everything “madness”? There’s nothing “madness” about a basket of vegetables.
2 Penn Plaza
New York, New York
Overheard by: angry carrot
Editor-in-chief to opinion editor: Liberal and short. If I had to describe you in two words, that’d be it. Well, only if I couldn’t use the word ‘bitch.’
Newsroom, Oklahoma State University-Stillwater
Stillwater, Oklahoma
Overheard by: The Opinionator
Lawyer: So you actually filed a copyright application?
Creative director: Oh, no, we just slapped a circle “c” after everything.
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Lesbian: Just say it: Vagina.
Queen: Virgina?
Lesbian: Vagina!
Editor: I can’t wait till our first lawsuit…
W 35th
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: token chick
Proofreader, warily: Your “Cat Peed on my Banjo” song sounds suspiciously like “Dueling Banjos”!
Washington, DC
Reporter #1: So, I was interviewing her about what she was going to do next, and she said she hoped she’d just get, you know, a Joe Blow job.
Reporter #2: You’re not going to put that in the story, are you?
Reporter #3: Where can I find this Joe?
149 Penn Avenue
Scranton, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: I just work here
