Guy in next cubicle on phone: Speak up! I can’t hear you because of the solar flares.
1500 West County Road
Roseville, Minnesota
Overheard by: I can’t believe I work here
Guy in next cubicle on phone: Speak up! I can’t hear you because of the solar flares.
1500 West County Road
Roseville, Minnesota
Overheard by: I can’t believe I work here
ERT member: Sir, you need to exit the building for the evacuation drill.
Employee re-entering building: I’m emotionally distraught. I can’t participate.
Midwest
Hardhat: Don’t eat the tuna salad in the cafeteria. It made me throw up.
Suit: Food poisoning takes a while. How long did it take to make you sick?
Hardhat: About 5 seconds. All I can figure is, someone must’ve put fish in it – I’m allergic to fish.
7th Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Lady: What’s his new obsession with cocaine? Is that, like, his new drug of choice or something? ‘Cause I’m telling you, I’m about ready to have this baby just to spite him.
1548 Lee Avenue
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Fin
Supervisor: Well, if that’s the case, all I need is a panda, a gun, and a bottle of wine.
Naperville, Illinois
Customer on phone: Can I get reimbursed for herbal remedies through my flexible spending account?
CSR #1: No. Holocaustic medicines are not eligible for reimbursement unless you receive them as part of doctor’s visit.
CSR #2: I think you meant holistic.
CSR #1: Whatever. Same thing.
2302 International Lane
Madison, Wisconsin
Topeka City Council Member: I thought we just voted that down unanimously, with the exception of one or two votes.
Capitol grounds
Topeka, Kansas
Overheard by: wscnsngl
Tech on phone in next cube: How can I help you? … Uh huh. Well like it said in the doc, you have to name the files alphabetically for that to work. … Alphabetically means from A to Z. … No, sir, you can’t name one file code_abc and the next one code_aba, a is before c… Yes, abz would work. … Numbers come before letters. … You’re welcome. [hangs up phone] Fuck this shit, I can’t even smoke it. I’m going home!
800 S Canal Street
Chicago, Illinois
Coworker #1: A lady just called wanting to speak to someone who knows Korean.
Coworker #2: Uh, oh. No one here does. So, what did you do?
Coworker #1: I transferred her over to the Ukrainian Village Branch. Ukrainia is near Korea, right?
7000 County Line Road
Burr Ridge, Illinois
Manager: Hey there… What are you doin?
Support: Just some really ugly updates to [client]’s website
Manager: Ahh, who cares as long as it’s billable.
Support pauses. . .
Manager: It is billable, right?
8840 Commons Boulevard
Twinsburg, Ohio
