Supervisor: Well, if that’s the case, all I need is a panda, a gun, and a bottle of wine.
Naperville, Illinois
Supervisor: Well, if that’s the case, all I need is a panda, a gun, and a bottle of wine.
Naperville, Illinois
Customer on phone: Can I get reimbursed for herbal remedies through my flexible spending account?
CSR #1: No. Holocaustic medicines are not eligible for reimbursement unless you receive them as part of doctor’s visit.
CSR #2: I think you meant holistic.
CSR #1: Whatever. Same thing.
2302 International Lane
Madison, Wisconsin
Topeka City Council Member: I thought we just voted that down unanimously, with the exception of one or two votes.
Capitol grounds
Topeka, Kansas
Overheard by: wscnsngl
Tech on phone in next cube: How can I help you? … Uh huh. Well like it said in the doc, you have to name the files alphabetically for that to work. … Alphabetically means from A to Z. … No, sir, you can’t name one file code_abc and the next one code_aba, a is before c… Yes, abz would work. … Numbers come before letters. … You’re welcome. [hangs up phone] Fuck this shit, I can’t even smoke it. I’m going home!
800 S Canal Street
Chicago, Illinois
Coworker #1: A lady just called wanting to speak to someone who knows Korean.
Coworker #2: Uh, oh. No one here does. So, what did you do?
Coworker #1: I transferred her over to the Ukrainian Village Branch. Ukrainia is near Korea, right?
7000 County Line Road
Burr Ridge, Illinois
Manager: Hey there… What are you doin?
Support: Just some really ugly updates to [client]’s website
Manager: Ahh, who cares as long as it’s billable.
Support pauses. . .
Manager: It is billable, right?
8840 Commons Boulevard
Twinsburg, Ohio
Supervisor, watching The Apprentice: I like that British guy, I hope he wins. Or that English guy. Wait, what’s the difference?
Coworker: Are you kidding?
Supervisor: There’s a difference, right? Do they want to be called something else?
800 Market Street
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Erin Eff
Coworker #1: We should start a D&D game.
Coworker #2: Yeah. Let’s ask Ben* if he wants to play, too!
Coworker #1, yelling to Ben: Hey, want to play D&D later?
Ben, yelling back: No! I don’t play D&D!
Coworker #2: We thought you’d be a good Druid.
Ben, yelling back: Fuck that, I’m a thief acrobat!
Oshkosh, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Will
Tech looking for stylus: Have you seen my pokey thing?
Boss: Not even in prison did I see the pokey thing.
Midwest
Coworker to another: Well, I'm going to go find a razor blade. Talk to you later.
Library, Midwest
