Copy editor, muttering to herself: Party foul, for dubious misuse of the verb “finger.” (pause) Contractions are your friends! Will everyone stop being so damn British?!


Overheard by: musingvenus

Manager: Ben*, do you want a badly made sandwich?
Employee: How badly made?
Manager: Badly.
Employee: Yeah!

Hemel Hempstead

Overheard by: I’m fine thanks

Co‐worker: This pilot is now fully rollable outable.

Rubislaw House
Anderson Drive
Aberdeen, Aberdeenshire

Peon #1: Don’t put that paper in the bin, it won’t get recycled. Put it in the confidential waste bin, the stuff in there does get recycled.
Peon #2: But it’s not confidential waste.
Peon #1: Well, write a secret on it and then put it in, if that’ll make you feel better.


Overheard by: PumpkinSpider

Lady manager: As far as I’m concerned, if you haven’t had a rash, you haven’t lived!

Kingswood Fields, Surrey
United Kingdom

Overheard by: Captain Stash

Boss to magazine editor on phone: Hello? Sorry, what’s your name? Jeff? Jeff? Really? Sorry, it’s just… you sound like a woman.


Worker: *Liam was great, I didn’t want any fucking sympathy and he just got on it with it. I hated my fucking father anyway.
Co‐worker: Good.
Worker: I mean I only went to his fucking funeral to make sure the cunt was dead… And to spit on his grave. You know? But *Alan got two and a half days for his fucking mother in law.
Co‐worker: Yeah?
Worker: Yeah. I mean I hated the bastard but I still get my three days right?
Co‐worker: Right.


Lady peon: Oh, for fuck’s sake! I’m going to have to draw on my breasts now.

Bolton, Lancashire
United Kingdom

Female coworker, looking out the window: Aw, look at the little kids, they’re so cute!
Male coworker: I hate kids.
Female coworker: Why?
Male coworker: They’re just too small to be natural…


Overheard by: Idris

Peon, about crowd: What’s going on over there?
Coworker: One of them’s just had a baby and he’s brought it in. Look, there it is on the floor!


Overheard by: well, there’s no daycare