Female coworker, looking out the window: Aw, look at the little kids, they're so cute!
Male coworker: I hate kids.
Female coworker: Why?
Male coworker: They're just too small to be natural…


Overheard by: Idris

Peon, about crowd: What’s going on over there?
Coworker: One of them’s just had a baby and he’s brought it in. Look, there it is on the floor!


Overheard by: well, there’s no daycare

Suit #1: Good morning, pal!
Suit #2: I'm not your pal…
Suit #1: Well, sure you are, buddy!
Suit #2: Look, my day would be far less painful if you'd stop referring to me using synonyms of “friend.” M'kay?
Suit #1: Sure thing, friend!
(Suit #2 storms out)
Suit #3: That's a new record…fifteen seconds!


Visitor: Excuse me, where’s your kitchen?
Engineer: Eh?
Visitor: Where’s your kitchen?
Engineer: My what?
Visitor: Your kitchen?
Engineer: It’s in my house…

United Kingdom

Manager: We will have a meeting later on to make sure everyone is happy.
Employee: But today is [Kelly]’s turn to be happy, not mine…I can pretend to be happy.

8 The Grove
Slough, Berkshire

Older female colleague #1: Hey, here's the prizes you won in the raffle the other night.
Older female colleague #2: Oh, thanks. Do you want to keep the bubble bath?
Older female colleague #1, not bothering to lower her voice: Oh. No, thanks. It makes me itch down below.
Older female colleague #2: Oh. (pause) I see.

St. Peter Port

Overheard by: A simple

Assistant: What year is it now?
Manager: 2005
Assistant : Still? Okay! It’s so easy to forget what year it is, isn’t it?
Manager: Not really.
Assistant: So it’s 2006 in–
Manager: January 1st!

Commercial Road
Hull, East Yorkshire

Overheard by: Simon Green

Chick: Can you pass the penis butter?
Boss: [Silence.]Chick: Peanut butter. Oh, God.

United Kingdom

Overheard by: monk.e.boy

Male desk drone, stretching: I’d love one of those medieval torture tables, y’know?
Female coworker: Uh, the rack?
Male desk drone: Yeah! I love stretching.


Overheard by: Lorzgrins

Desk jockey #1: Do you ever think you might be the star of your own Truman show?
Desk jockey #2: Man, that would be a show with a lot of wanking!

Munster Road
United Kingdom

Overheard by: Marshall