Male desk drone, stretching: I’d love one of those medieval torture tables, y’know?
Female coworker: Uh, the rack?
Male desk drone: Yeah! I love stretching.
Hertfordshire
UK
Overheard by: Lorzgrins
Male desk drone, stretching: I’d love one of those medieval torture tables, y’know?
Female coworker: Uh, the rack?
Male desk drone: Yeah! I love stretching.
Hertfordshire
UK
Overheard by: Lorzgrins
Desk jockey #1: Do you ever think you might be the star of your own Truman show?
Desk jockey #2: Man, that would be a show with a lot of wanking!
Munster Road
United Kingdom
Overheard by: Marshall
Co-worker: He could do that job with one eye shut and one eye tied behind his back.
Rubislaw House
Anderson Drive
Aberdeen, Aberdeenshire
UK
Boss: You got hypnotized by the screen saver?
IT guy: No, I’m watching porn. This is the only screen no one else can see.
Exeter
United Kingdom
Man: I’m going to get my thing cauterized. [Pause] Not my thing, but my thing.
Primark Eastbourne
United Kingdom
Teacher #1: My dad hit a deer once!
Teacher #2: Oh, really?! Did it die?
Teacher #1: Yeah, and it totally wrecked the car, too.
Teacher #2: My dad hit a cow!
Teacher #1: Oh… Well, my dad hit a whale!
Bexhill College
England
Overheard by: Corinne
Reporter: I’m so middle-aged, I missed the turn-off.
Editor: We’re all getting on a bit…
Reporter: I don’t care. I’m happy just to sit here, let my belly grow, and get interested in plants.
Newcastle
United Kingdom
Co-worker #1: Is it bad to take holidays just after you start a
new job, like within the trial period?
Co-worker #2: Yeah, I took, like, 10 days in the first week of starting.
WCP Harlaw Road
Inverurie, Aberdeenshire
Scotland
Overheard by: JBlair
Secretary #1: Oh! Um…
Secretary #2: Don’t mind me — I’m just fiddling in your drawers.
Solicitor’s office
Lincolnshire
United Kingdom
Worker bee: If you’re not willing to come in on your days off, you can’t complain about being short-staffed.
UK
