UK

Boss: I don’t want it turning into a mega gangbang.

226 Penarth Road
Cardiff
UK

Employee #1: You couldn't swing a cat in it, but she thought it was palatial.
Employee #2: What?
(pause)
Employee #1: Big.

Kilmarnock
Scotland

Overheard by: Traitorfish

Worker on phone: Say catastrophe.
Worker on loudspeaker: Castastrosy.
Worker on phone: Yeah, now say catastrophic.
Worker on loudspeaker: Castrastrosic.
Worker on phone: See?
Worker on loudspeaker: See what?

Hemel Hempstead
Hertfordshire
England

Overheard by: Yes i see, this is defintitely catastrophic

Systems administrator: No, it isn’t a flowchart, it’s a chart that just happens to flow.

Aberdeen
Scotland
United Kingdom

Overheard by: Auditor in the corner

Editor: I want a story about a person.
Intern: What kind?
Editor: Oh, I don’t know. But it could be a lollipop man, who straps a rocket to the back of his lollipop, and now flies to New York in five seconds.

Edinburgh
Scotland

Male coworker to lady coworkers, about relationship with sister: We never said anything nasty to each other — it was just physical violence.

Hemel Hempstead
United Kingdom

Overheard by: sticks and stones…

Worker bee: In a perfect world everyone should smell like pizza.

Hemel Hempstead
UK

Overheard by: I’d prefer fresh-cut grass