Dumb Bosses

Branch manager: What do you want me to do? Do you want me to fire him? I’ll fire anyone — I don’t care!

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Company president: I love the photo [of a blonde girl on the beach] you used on this brochure. It’s perfect. But can you keep the same photo and just make her black instead?

Columbia, South Carolina

Overheard by: Office Peon

Old white lady: Excuse me, where do you keep your knickers?
White supervisor, nervously: What? I don’t have any…

Clothing store
Ocala, Florida

Suit: It’s been a big thing. I’ve sent a bunch of emails about it.
Boss: Yeah, I’ve ignored them. Sorry.

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: It’s not my project

Boss: So what would be the wider business implamications of this?


Overheard by: glad she wasn’t in that meeting

Boss: Wait, what’s ‘fornication’? I don’t know that word. Is it like fighting?
Coworker: Uh, no. It’s like sex.

Roselle, Illinois

Overheard by: my vocabulary is better than yours

Boss: We won’t do it wrong. We’ll just do it a different way that won’t be right.

Anchorage, Alaska

Overheard by: Mark

Boss looking at her new laptop: There are too many keys.

New York

Overheard by: Tjay

Boss on speaker phone: So I need you to give me those files, like, in five minutes.
Employee: Um.
Boss: I’m serious. I want them in my hand in five minutes.
Employee: You know that I work at home, right?
Boss: So?
Employee: So I live forty-five minutes away from your so-called “office”…Speaking of which, did you ever get that toilet out of the hallway?

3207 Hayloft Court
Frederick, Maryland

Overheard by: Ren

Head trainer: Let’s face it, if you could be all that you could be, you wouldn’t be working here…
Class: [Silence.]Trainee #1: [Applause.]Trainees #2 and #3: [Applause.]

Mutual of America, 320 Park Avenue
New York, New York