Sleazy office manager: She’s got it going on! I’d fuck the shit out of her in a heartbeat! Oops, I should probably close the door.
30 South Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Sleazy office manager: She’s got it going on! I’d fuck the shit out of her in a heartbeat! Oops, I should probably close the door.
30 South Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Boss: Where did that report go? I have a meeting in less than ten minutes! Where did you put that report?…I just had it! Why do you keep hiding things on me?
Secretary: Look in your briefcase.
Boss: It’s not in my briefcase! I just looked in it! Why would it be in my briefcase?
Secretary: Because you just put it in there, dumbass.
Boss: No, I didn’t! I would know if it’s in my briefcase!
Secretary: You sure?
Boss: Yes! I’m positive! I know it’s not…Oh, here it is.
Secretary: And where was it…?
Boss: In my briefcase.
Secretary: Dumbass…go to your meeting and stop bugging me.
Boss: I have to buy you lunch again, don’t I?
Secretary: Yep. And don’t even think that Burger King is going to cut it this time.
One Penn Plaza
New York, NY
Overheard by: mshorty
Manager: Does anyone else hear an ice cream truck?
Office: …
Manager: I need a vacation so bad.
625 Second Street
San Francisco, California
Boss to customer: Would you like to try my meat? It tastes just like maple! Ask anyone — they all tried it!
Lee, New Hampshire
Boss: We are a team. If you tell me that you cannot work on your day off, then you are not being a very good team member.
1119 N. Brown
Casa Grande, Arizona
Overheard by: Alisa
Boss on phone: Wait, wait, wait, does your computer have Google on it? Yeah, just type it in there.
1700 Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Stephanie
Boss: Natasha*, is there something wrong?
Natasha: My friend just texted me saying that she’s sitting next to Orlando Bloom.
Boss: Tell him he’s fired if he doesn’t get here in five minutes.
Employee #2: Boss, he’s an actor.
Boss: I don’t give a rat’s ass what he aspires to be. I emailed everyone yesterday saying that this meeting was very important.
Natasha: Mr. Jones*, he’s a Hollywood actor. He doesn’t work—
Boss, very angry: —I see. That’s what he says, huh? He’s fired then!
Employee #2: Seriously, Boss, he doesn’t work here. He is just an actor who happened to sit next to Natasha’s friend.
Boss: So how the fuck do you dare to interrupt my meeting with some bullshit talk on a psycho employee who thinks he’s in Hollywood?!
270 Park Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: working for an oblivious boss
Boss: So, uh, essentially, this meeting is about a meeting we’re going to have. Sometime.
375 Hudson Street
New York, NY
Jeff*: Liz*, can you come here?
Liz: Are you going to fire me?
Jeff: I can’t — you’re my supervisor.
Liz: What? No, I’m not. You’re my supervisor.
Jeff: …But if I’m your supervisor, and you’re my supervisor, which one of us is really in charge?
Liz: That depends… If it’s you, are you going to fire me?
Jeff: No.
Liz: Then it’s you.
Jeff: Awesome.
6105 Oakleaf Avenue
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Ren
Boss: So what school did you go to again?
Worker: The University of Illinois.
Boss: Right…that's an Ivy League school, right?
Worker: (stunned silence)
Boston, Massachusetts
