Boss on phone: Wait, wait, wait, does your computer have Google on it? Yeah, just type it in there.
1700 Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Stephanie
Boss on phone: Wait, wait, wait, does your computer have Google on it? Yeah, just type it in there.
1700 Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Stephanie
Boss: Natasha*, is there something wrong?
Natasha: My friend just texted me saying that she’s sitting next to Orlando Bloom.
Boss: Tell him he’s fired if he doesn’t get here in five minutes.
Employee #2: Boss, he’s an actor.
Boss: I don’t give a rat’s ass what he aspires to be. I emailed everyone yesterday saying that this meeting was very important.
Natasha: Mr. Jones*, he’s a Hollywood actor. He doesn’t work—
Boss, very angry: —I see. That’s what he says, huh? He’s fired then!
Employee #2: Seriously, Boss, he doesn’t work here. He is just an actor who happened to sit next to Natasha’s friend.
Boss: So how the fuck do you dare to interrupt my meeting with some bullshit talk on a psycho employee who thinks he’s in Hollywood?!
270 Park Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: working for an oblivious boss
Boss: So, uh, essentially, this meeting is about a meeting we’re going to have. Sometime.
375 Hudson Street
New York, NY
Jeff*: Liz*, can you come here?
Liz: Are you going to fire me?
Jeff: I can’t — you’re my supervisor.
Liz: What? No, I’m not. You’re my supervisor.
Jeff: …But if I’m your supervisor, and you’re my supervisor, which one of us is really in charge?
Liz: That depends… If it’s you, are you going to fire me?
Jeff: No.
Liz: Then it’s you.
Jeff: Awesome.
6105 Oakleaf Avenue
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Ren
Boss: So what school did you go to again?
Worker: The University of Illinois.
Boss: Right…that's an Ivy League school, right?
Worker: (stunned silence)
Boston, Massachusetts
Employee: Can I help you?
Customer: Hi. Yes, may I have a turkey artichoke panini?
Employee: No.
Customer: No?
Employee: No. We don’t have those.
Customer: But it’s right there on your board. Do you mean you ran out of them today?
Employee: Yeah, that’s what I said. Order the other turkey sandwich, it’s exactly the same.
Customer: Actually I think I’ll just have a salad.
Employee: I’ll be right back. [Goes in back room.]Employee: Did you hear what I just said back there?
Customer: Ummm… No.
Employee: Good. I mean, cause it wasn’t about you.
Customer: Ok…
Panera Bread Co.
Tysons Corner, Virginia
CEO: It’s like the dog and the tail. The tail is the reward and happiness. The dog is how you get there, the hard work.
460 Phillip Street
Waterloo, Ontario
Canadia
Office clerk: Wait, this doesn’t look right.
Manager: It has to be right -it’s highlighted.
Office clerk: Maybe someone highlighted the wrong thing, because that’s not right.
Manager: I highlighted it.
Office clerk: Well, I think it may be wrong.
Manager: It can’t be wrong. It’s highlighted.
5th Avenue
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Saw the Light
Law student #1: I can’t believe the parents in that case named their kid Adolph!
Law student #2: Uh… That case was from 1850…
Law student #1: So?
699 Exposition Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: TAJ
Branch manager: What do you want me to do? Do you want me to fire him? I’ll fire anyone — I don’t care!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
