Homeowner answering telephone: Hola.
Telemarketer, in broken English: I am calling to tell you about a new calling plan…
Homeowner: No habla Ingles.
Telemarketer: Do you speak English?
Homeowner: No habla Ingles.
Telemarketer, speaking very slowly: Then I will speak English very slowly to you.
Homeowner: No habla Ingles, adios.
921 South Irby Street
Florence, South Carolina
Overheard by: Dun Ben Ther
Black woman on cell: All he did was look at my vagina, and I owe him 300 dollars?
Federal Credit Union, 2nd Avenue and Chestnut Street
Louisville, Kentucky
Coworker on phone: Quick, think of a biracial vegetable!
Seattle, Washington
Man screaming into cell and gesturing at the wall: I’m beneath the fucking girl with her fucking panties around her ankles! How could you miss me?!
Outside civil courthouse
Miami-Dade, Florida
Overheard by: also standing beneath the coppertone ad
CSR on phone: Yes, I know. I’m sorry, I am French.
Percepta, Sauchiehall Street
Glasgow
Scotland
Coworker on phone: Can I ask you something off-topic? If a family pet dies, how long can you keep it in the freezer?
Frances Avenue
Lancaster, Pennsylvania
CSR on phone: And what size product do you have?
Customer: Where do I find that?
CSR: It should be on the front of the label, probably on the bottom.
Customer: No, it’s not there. All it says there is ‘Eight fulozos.’
CSR: Uh… Do you mean ‘Eight fluid ounces’?
Customer: No… It says ‘Fulozos.’
1905 Aston Avenue
Carlsbad, California
Cell phone technician: This is Mariah*, how can I help you?
Customer: Yes ma’am, I just bought the Sony Exorcism phone, and…
7111 N Prince Street
Clovis, New Mexico
Overheard by: it’s a sony ERICSSON!!!! LMAO
Employee on phone: Did you poop? Did you poop today? Will you poop with me when I get home? Okay, we’ll poop together when I get home.
New York, New York
Coworker on phone: And I like them already, they seem pretty cool. Nothing like starting my day with a cute chick showing me her boob.
Alpharetta, Georgia
Overheard by: i wanna see!
