Hostess: Thank you for calling Napa 29, how can I help you?…I’m sorry, sir, this is a restaurant, not an auto parts store…No sir, this is not Napa Auto Parts…No, sir…Sir, this is a restaurant. I don’t know how much a carburetor costs…Sir, I really don’t…Three hundred dollars and eighty nine cents…Yes, sir. Have a nice evening.
280 Teller Street, Suite 130
Corona, California
Overheard by: Sara
Woman on the phone in the HEAT assistance office: I can’t talk right now, I’m in HEAT.
533 East 26th Street
Ogden, Utah
Overheard by: I see it Now
Employee on phone: I was picking a booger out of my nose before and lost it, and I didn’t know where it went and I just found it on my finger.
390 Sixth Street
Huntington, New York
Nurse on phone: I’m sorry, she said she doesn’t want to talk to you… Uh huh… Well, we can’t make a patient talk to someone on the phone… I’m sorry, that’s what she said. You’re her husband, right? Oh, you’re her mother! Just a moment, please.
10 Medical Center Boulevard
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Boss on phone with IT: How do I see my future emails?
1246 Princeton Street
Akron, Ohio
Employee on phone: Wait, let me read you the email he sent out this morning: “Just a reminder that today, like every Friday, is acquittals day. So acquit, acquit, acquit away, and keep the frightening audits at bay.” Yep, poetry…See? This is why I’m leaving.
Elizabeth Street
Sydney, Australia
Overheard by: Tigertail
Secretary: So, the next time you shut the door to take one of your sex calls, I’m going to nail it closed!
311 Main Road
Point Mugu, California
Overheard by: mookie
Worker on phone: What time does she get in?…That’s kind of late. I’ll leave Lydia* with my mom, no reason to drag her all they way to the airport and back. Maybe we can find some place to have sex in the car on the way down there…Maybe I shouldn’t say stuff like that when I don’t have a ceiling or real walls.
333 Bush Street
San Francisco, California
Coworker on the phone: I’ve been doing the balls and it’s been working.
6412 Maple
Westminster, California
Customer rep on phone: No, ma’am. I’m sorry but I can’t come to your room and fix your equipment….because I’m not on the third floor. I’m in Denver and you’re in San Francisco.
11400 Westmoor
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: losing patience
